April 14th: Day o' Rest.
April 15th: I'm not entirely sure how this week is going to shape up as to planning so reached out to Coach about the schedule. It was not too unobviously implied I should try and keep with it, but of course changes could be made. I already knew that I would do the big speed workout tomorrow, but today was a scheduled 8 and that's just a hard number to make work with life and whatnot. I thought, once again, that I could become an AM runner, but I think I am letting that dream die. It is asking too much of me and I'd rather make other adjustments and live with those. So, I geared up for the 8 today. I got to 7 which, honestly, that's a success. When I left work, there was a big old storm that rolled in and when I was able to start running there was thunder. So to the tread. Granted, the weather was just lovely when I ended, but so it goes. The calf felt okay on it, more or less good, so that's nice to think that I may have the tread back as an option going forward.
April 16th: This is a big workout, I think the longest speed session I've done if not part of a long run: 2x4@MP. I went into this knowing I wanted to do it and only making the smallest deals to bail. But I planned and committed to this full hour and half. And guess what? I did it. Not only did I do it, but it went really well. I am immensely proud of this workout. It's the type where, no matter what happens from here out and with the race, I can look back and say: "you know what, I gave this block a lot including this workout." The 4 miles were nearly identical in time 31:14 and 31:13 and the splits were 7:54, 7:47, 7:48, 7:44, 7:45, 7:46, 7:49, 7:52). I felt like I was pushing, but not like I was toast at the end. I still am questioning the ability to hold that pace for 26.2, but that's okay. That's pretty much all of marathon training. I also did this as an out and back (2 out, 2 back) because of trying to get the same benefit and resistance of the wind and what hills there are. This one is going to stay with me for a while.
I've also grown as a runner where, now thinking about this workout, I don't think about what I can do on Memorial Day, I think about being proud of this hard work. It may not result in something that I want, but that doesn't take away from how it went, how strong it made me, and a benefit that's beyond a race. Before I would have just thought about what it means for the race, and while that is still applicable, it's not the only thing that matters. I'm just trying to be better and, perhaps that means something big on the other side, or perhaps it just means I am better for doing this now no matter what may or may not come from it.
April 17th: Another nice rest day. I never got into being able to cross train this block. As usual.
April 18th: I had a haircut after work, so despite knowing I could fit in a run after work, I went with the am attempt. I also, as of this moment but not as of writing this, planned to long run on Saturday so I wanted as much space between my runs. I managed to get up and get out the door. It wasn't too bad; heart rate is always a little higher and paces a little slower, but the miles were done.
April 19th: My Friday was Something Else and I was wrecked from the day. I still kept hope alive, eating pasta and prepping for a long run, but with my body feeling pretty wrecked and the heat I knew was coming (so a necessary earlier start) I was beginning to see the writing on the wall. I called it mid-night turning off my alarm and just went with the days being moved (again). I didn't bother to reach out to my coach knowing she probably was dealing with Boston Marathon runners and, really, the decision was made. Best she may have said was not to run butttttt, yeah, I was going to run. It was toast(ier) than usual, but not a bad easy run.
April 20th: The plan for the day was a spicy long run (3-3@MP-1-1@HMP-1-3@MP-1-1@HMP-1-3@MP-2). I did this run for Newport and it was a challenge but I got it done. I'm trying to include the husband in some of these plans so he was going to the rail trail and despite knowing better, I decided to join there. I have come to *hate* the rail trail unfortunately because the subtle inclines are the worst for me mentally and pace wise. I think, in retrospect, I self-sabotaged. But I did go out for the 3 mile warmup and started the MP 3 miles, but 1.5 miles in it was a decision time. The pace was hard, but not in the hard but okay way but in the I'm not going to make this way. A lot of that was probably mental, but I still have a long way to go with that aspect and, when you're by yourself on a trail, facing 15.5 more miles, sometimes you have to make a call. So I stopped the watch so it stopped harping at me missing my paces, and restarted. I forced myself through the rest of that 20 miles knowing that I was not going to fail in two ways for one run. I reached out to my coach and am just waiting to hear back but hopefully it'll be positive support. I still have one more spicy long run with 20 and this time, the focus in on that run.
I am proud, though, of having completed the 20 miles. I think a few years ago I may have bailed and bargained my way out of it, convincing myself it was fine. It probably would have been fine, but not ideal. Now I knew that I should try even if I didn't succeed in one way.
