Did We Do It?

I've had two good weekends of speed work that have helped to boost my confidence in running in general and, in some ways, bring a little joy back to it (probably because of feeling like I can still accomplish maybe something big). Last week I held onto 3x1.5 miles despite having a tummy and head that didn't like me. I think that run and my following long run may have messed up my system a bit, because I did not feel great on Tuesday, but by Wednesday seemed okay. What that meant or means though was five days in a row of running if I wanted to be close to my training plan.

I dialed back some of the easy run distances, because of time and energy, but have so far held on to keeping most mileage. Today I did a progressive HMP workout starting at 10 second more than HMP, HMP and then 10 second faster than HMP. For me I put my goals at 7:50, 7:40 and 7:30. I tend to talk myself out of progressive runnings claiming "I'm not good at them" in terms of managing the speed increases and steady-state, but today I tried really hard not to follow that narrative.

My splits were: 7:52, 7:52, 7:36, 7:41, 7:33, 7:32 so turns out I can manage my paces if I focus. I think some of that is having had a coach for almost while and having better management of prescribed paces in workouts. I felt overall pretty good during this run. By the end, I was glad to be done and I'm not sure a 7:30 half marathon pace is there for me which was also a far reaching goal, but there is a little excitement there about what I could maybe pull off. I'd LOVE a 1:39:59 and losing the "4" before my half marathon pace, but I think that's still a stretch. For now, I'm thinking between a 1:40-1:45 but closer to the 1:45. You never know and we'll see how I feel, how the weather is and what the course shapes up to be, but there is that lilt trickle of "hmm maybe I can pull something off".

Marathon Monday

As each year passes and Marathon Monday comes around again, I keep thinking about how much I’d like to be out there, but also how maybe this isn’t for me. I won’t give up on the dream of running it by qualifying, but it seems like something that is a bit out of reach. I will say that Marathon Monday was what made me want to run a marathon. I still can remember running after watching it in … 2009? And thinking, yes I can run one of those. I can remember how blissful that run felt. And it may have taken a few years, but I did run one. And then another and another and so on.

It is hard not to feel the desire and the wish for Boston, but I think there is much I can be proud of in my running even if that never happens. I’ll keep striving to run my best races, because I think I can still do that, but I’ll recognize that my best may not be enough which is overall okay. I wish it meant something else but that’s okay. If I can keep putting myself on the start line and keep trying as I age, maybe that’s enough.

Reframing

Every althelete, not matter what level, knows the day will come when there are no longer chasing PRs not due to the lack of want, desire or drive, but due to age. It's not a fun thought to consider and, I expect, not a fun one to live and I find myself wondering if I'm reaching that age or getting close to it.

I think that I never tested myself in the marathon until recently so I think, in some ways, I may not be at the end of a PR stage yet although perhaps because I missed what my prime may be. That is something I'll never know so no reason to consider it. I do wonder, though, if this idea of a PR or, heaven forbid, a BQ is something that is out of my grasp now. 

I hope not and I'm not sure if I'm giving up the ghost just yet, but the idea is there. I had a hard and disappointing workout today. Perhaps it is because I am not fit enough yet or perhaps it is that I am not fit for those number any longer. I am not sure and haven't decided what to think, but the thought it there and it was there during the run.

I kept thinking/wondering if this was my new normal. If these hard paces, once not as hard, we my limit now. I suppose if the work is still there and the effort is still there, that is all a good thing, but I'd like to think I may be able to toe the line and hit something quicker than before still.

We shall see. For now, I'll try to keep pushing and hope that finish line will come quicker than expected.

A Good Day

​Today was a good run. 

I don’t know if it was figuring a (maybe better) breakfast (sour dough ftw) or some fueling or just improvement in fitness, but it was nice to hard a run that just … happening. 

I’m hopeful keep this positivity with me going forward through this remaining half training plan and then… 

And then…

Into a fall marathon training. 

For the first time in a while my mindset is a little bit of:

Let’s go.  

Tale as Old As Time

There's not much to report about my running last week and that's not the worst thing. I'm in a small in-between, post-race but pre-race that is quicker than usual. I took a run day off last week as the legs were feeling tired and I had some swelling in my left knee, but that seems to have alleviated and wasn't any worse after the 8 miler yesterday. I'm hopeful that I can pick-up this week and lean into the training before the half in May. After that, we'll have a short rest and then ideally hit up some marathon summer training.

I'm trying to work strength into my routine so come summer it'll be a part of what I do. I know it's not hard, but it's not fun and certainly not something that I want to spend more of my little free time during the week on. But if I want to run healthy and hopefully well, I need to think about the importance of that. As well as the importance of my diet. 

I've had a few too many days where I don't want to run not only because I'm tired, but because I'm hungry. I am working to try and find a balance of food during the work day that fills me and allows me to run at an earlier time than would likely make sense if I had an earlier lunch. So far that's a work in progress being that I am still quite full from my 1pm lunch today.

All in all, I'm just trying to find some rhythm again and, in some ways, maybe for the first time in a long time. That is sort of exciting, isn't it?

Where the Concrete Meets the Water

Eastern States was, in two words, not fun. Some other words that may work include: windy, cold, snowy/rainy/sleety, hard, suffer-fest, done.

I went into this run looking forward to a good race. Not necessarily in time because I am still working myself back into fitness, but in terms of the mental game. I feel a little bit more like myself with running these days and it has a little bit more joy in it. As I've posted before, some of this has to do with a real difficult 2025 at various times, a rut with running due to injury and winter. As all these things melt away way a bit, there is a little sunshine coming back to my daily runs.

So, I was ready for a race where I could put my brain to work and see what my body could do when I ran smart and interested. Eastern States, or perhaps New England weather, said "nah".

From the start, when the sleet came through at the line, I was worried. I am not the best at cold running and sometimes can find myself real cold and unable to warm-up. That concern, although I was relatively properly dressed, stayed with me well into the first few miles. I wasn't actually cold, my legs were a bit but working fine, but I just kept thinking "what if". What if I get too cold? When can I leave the course? How do I leave the course? What are the signs of something going bad? All this kept circling in my head even while I ran.

It was a head down type of run to mostly due to the wind and rain hitting you in the face and also because it was just a get through it type of day. While I had mini panics about how wrong something could go, I also kept saying how strong I was to be out there fighting for something that, honestly, carries little significance in my life other than as a hobby. I also did not do well with fuel or water intake, the misery of the run causing the lack of focus and desire for either.

I gave into music probably around mile 7 or 8 and the splits there show why I did and why I needed to do it. I had another hard spell at miles 10/11 although, in retrospect, I thinking a lot of that was the head wind. I found some people to work beside and that was nice even if no one was really enjoying it all that much. It was really inspiring, though, to see the friend/coach who was pacing their runner and how hard they both worked in different ways. I hope they reached their goal.

Afterwards, I actually feel okay about it all. I'm not really disappointed but I wouldn't say that I'm proud either. I did fight through the day, but I didn't fight that much other than to the finish line. I do feel ready to focus on training and to also focus more roundly on it, including strength, food and fuel. I have some plans for fuel I'd like to try and hope they are good for the stomach. I have some idea of how I can work in even the most basic strength. And food will always be a learning experience.

Up next is a half marathon May 9th and then it will be some rest, some of the local shorter races, and gearing up for a fall marathon. I'm hopeful that I can keep this will strong and see what I can do this year.

Be Curious

I’m looking to approach this Eastern States (half marathon edition) with positivity and curiosity. It’s been a while since I’ve done a race that I didn’t have some internal pressure on myself. The half from last fall was sort of wooes-me run. It was just a survive because you signed up for it, the training was a bear, and I was too stubborn to call it. Bayshore marathon earlier in 2025 obviously had plenty of pressure and disappointment associated with it. The shorter races in the summer don’t carry much expectation with them and are always a “let’s see” race. 

In 2024 Newport was a big leap for me with hiring a coach and trying to make up for Providence and prove that was a fluke. The half in the fall was a let’s see and it went well but I still had the PR goal hanging over it (which I got). 
For this run, I think I’m excited and looking forward to see how it goes. I have some goals in terms of how I want to run it but nothing with a time really associated with it. I’ve slowly been getting my training a bit more under wraps and in a place where I’m seeing progress and seeing a little bit of that potential that I’ve had over the past two years. It’s nice and I know that I should treat this block as a way of finding myself and my running and joy again
The run tomorrow is just one more time to celebrate that I am able to be out there with other people doing something that has, most of the time, brought joy. I’m still hopeful I’ll have another swing at a half later in the spring and then I am even more hopeful, I’ll be hungry for something in the fall.