In all honesty, 2025 was meh to blah to awful. It was a lot of work for little success. It was a lot of loss with little gain. It was a year that I felt stuck, still do in some ways, with constant attempts to unstick but with limited success. It was a lot of stress and stressors and discomfort. I felt like, especially in the fall, that I could never get ahead and was always falling short. I kind of then just gave in and gave up to trying to fight against the constant pull in all directions.
And then there was the dog.
The loss of the pup is what really colors the whole year. It’s just a hole that won’t ever be filled and make 2025 bleak and sad.
I’m not really in a place to say or wish for 2026 to be better. Not because I don’t want it to be but because none of the big loss will ever be okay. 2026 won’t be better because there’s no pup. It’ll be different and maybe that’s what I can hope for and focus on.
For now, I still carry my sadness and loneliness. I will for a long while but I’m trying to carrying some other things. Some motivation. Excitement for maybe some what ifs. So dedication to answers. Some hope that I can find that spark.
For now, I focused on getting some easy miles in this am and an x-ray tomorrow. It’s going to be the little things in these first weeks and, hopefully, will paint the scene for the year.
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