Did We Do It?

I've had two good weekends of speed work that have helped to boost my confidence in running in general and, in some ways, bring a little joy back to it (probably because of feeling like I can still accomplish maybe something big). Last week I held onto 3x1.5 miles despite having a tummy and head that didn't like me. I think that run and my following long run may have messed up my system a bit, because I did not feel great on Tuesday, but by Wednesday seemed okay. What that meant or means though was five days in a row of running if I wanted to be close to my training plan.

I dialed back some of the easy run distances, because of time and energy, but have so far held on to keeping most mileage. Today I did a progressive HMP workout starting at 10 second more than HMP, HMP and then 10 second faster than HMP. For me I put my goals at 7:50, 7:40 and 7:30. I tend to talk myself out of progressive runnings claiming "I'm not good at them" in terms of managing the speed increases and steady-state, but today I tried really hard not to follow that narrative.

My splits were: 7:52, 7:52, 7:36, 7:41, 7:33, 7:32 so turns out I can manage my paces if I focus. I think some of that is having had a coach for almost while and having better management of prescribed paces in workouts. I felt overall pretty good during this run. By the end, I was glad to be done and I'm not sure a 7:30 half marathon pace is there for me which was also a far reaching goal, but there is a little excitement there about what I could maybe pull off. I'd LOVE a 1:39:59 and losing the "4" before my half marathon pace, but I think that's still a stretch. For now, I'm thinking between a 1:40-1:45 but closer to the 1:45. You never know and we'll see how I feel, how the weather is and what the course shapes up to be, but there is that lilt trickle of "hmm maybe I can pull something off".

Marathon Monday

As each year passes and Marathon Monday comes around again, I keep thinking about how much I’d like to be out there, but also how maybe this isn’t for me. I won’t give up on the dream of running it by qualifying, but it seems like something that is a bit out of reach. I will say that Marathon Monday was what made me want to run a marathon. I still can remember running after watching it in … 2009? And thinking, yes I can run one of those. I can remember how blissful that run felt. And it may have taken a few years, but I did run one. And then another and another and so on.

It is hard not to feel the desire and the wish for Boston, but I think there is much I can be proud of in my running even if that never happens. I’ll keep striving to run my best races, because I think I can still do that, but I’ll recognize that my best may not be enough which is overall okay. I wish it meant something else but that’s okay. If I can keep putting myself on the start line and keep trying as I age, maybe that’s enough.

Reframing

Every althelete, not matter what level, knows the day will come when there are no longer chasing PRs not due to the lack of want, desire or drive, but due to age. It's not a fun thought to consider and, I expect, not a fun one to live and I find myself wondering if I'm reaching that age or getting close to it.

I think that I never tested myself in the marathon until recently so I think, in some ways, I may not be at the end of a PR stage yet although perhaps because I missed what my prime may be. That is something I'll never know so no reason to consider it. I do wonder, though, if this idea of a PR or, heaven forbid, a BQ is something that is out of my grasp now. 

I hope not and I'm not sure if I'm giving up the ghost just yet, but the idea is there. I had a hard and disappointing workout today. Perhaps it is because I am not fit enough yet or perhaps it is that I am not fit for those number any longer. I am not sure and haven't decided what to think, but the thought it there and it was there during the run.

I kept thinking/wondering if this was my new normal. If these hard paces, once not as hard, we my limit now. I suppose if the work is still there and the effort is still there, that is all a good thing, but I'd like to think I may be able to toe the line and hit something quicker than before still.

We shall see. For now, I'll try to keep pushing and hope that finish line will come quicker than expected.

A Good Day

​Today was a good run. 

I don’t know if it was figuring a (maybe better) breakfast (sour dough ftw) or some fueling or just improvement in fitness, but it was nice to hard a run that just … happening. 

I’m hopeful keep this positivity with me going forward through this remaining half training plan and then… 

And then…

Into a fall marathon training. 

For the first time in a while my mindset is a little bit of:

Let’s go.