I’ve been finding that ups and downs seem to be happening a lot recently. When I first thought of this post I was going to celebrate the fact that last week I did an early, before work, run or workout EVERYDAY as I had wanted to. It was a tiring but great accomplishment for me. I felt like I’d stuck to a different type of goal and succeed even when, on Friday, I was convincing myself I could do it after work. But I didn’t and entered my long run and new week looking towards keeping the train rolling. Long run also went well. It was cooler than last week and felt all together put together.
And then Monday’s Farley came around...
Even with the success of last week I realized doing a speed workout in the am May end up with me too early (I do OT at 5am already and not sure I want to do a 4:15 twice) so I decided Monday and Tuesdays (because of run club) I’d do workouts after work and have PT be my midweek shift to the am. So I went for my run and it was totally ugh. I had to cut one 5 minutes short and felt bloated and crappy kind of the whole time. The tail wind helped on the way back but the frustration had already welled. I was annoyed and disappointed in myself and I hate feeling like that.
I’m trying to learn how to be forgiving with bad runs or runs that don’t meet my expectations but it’s not easy. I went through this recently which resulted in a change and that was good. This time I don’t want to change something because I don’t feel that ovrewhelming issue I did before, but I also don’t want to feel that failure again. Some of it has to do with diet, some of it has to do with body issues (being a girl, ugh) and some of it just is what it is. It’s a matter of perspective and forgiveness which I’ll have to keep in mind as this long summer goes on.
Especially because at the end of this I may need to offer myself the biggest forgiveness if I don’t BQ.
*Got no feel, I got no rhythm
I just keep losing my beat
I'm OK, I'm alright
I ain't gonna face no defeat
I just gotta get out of this prison cell
One day I'm gonna be free, Lord!
Wednesday, June 27, 2018
Sunday, June 10, 2018
Who Can Say
There’s gonna come a day when you feel better
You’ll rise up free and easy on that day
And float from branch to branch
Lighter than the air
Just when that day is coming, who can say?
Who can say?
Here’s the deal. There have been a lot of busy days recently. Work has been the usual cluster, which I am used to but it doesn’t make the day any easier. And then my husband and I moved which was no less than two week process and still is happening. Plus the run plan that I’ve been following seem to go on steroids two weeks ago and had me jump up to 36 miles per week whereas before the half I was at about 20.
Needless to say I feel like I was dragging and I had a run in our new neighborhood where I was supposed to do 10 miles of speed and about a mile into it I just couldn’t do it. And it was different from some of the other times where I had hesitation or lack luster feelings about a run. This was a feeling of I can’t do this, I don’t want to do this, I’m not going to do this and I even felt myself get a little bit choked up and teary-eyed. I managed to sort of pull off a 6 mile faster than normal run but I knew that I had to make a change. I knew that I was going to find myself in a position of failing becoming very frustrated at myself.
And so I regrouped. I had the run-in plan re-calculate what I needed to do and I find myself at a 20 or 24 mile week which is manageable. I’ve set up the house a little bit and had a weekend of focus on that. I’m still working to potentially change my workout in the morning so that I have more time in the evening to simply relax and enjoy instead of always moving. I’m also hoping to get to bed earlier and with the addition of a new bed sleep better. Most of all though I am just trying to remain positive and not to consider this bump in the road, which wasn’t that big of a bump or lomg of a bump but still a bump, simply something that happens at times.
That’s the thing about running. You can have bad runs and you can have skipped runs but it’s dtill there when you’re ready. This weekend I had a nice eight mile longer run as well as a random Trail 5K and they both went well and they both made me feel fine about running and fine about where I’m at. Sometimes it takes a little bit of break down , such as it was, to make you recognize and refocus your attitude. Hoping that this minor hiccup I had (mostly mental if not all mental) will prove to make me stronger and more focused on being healthy and happy and fulfilled with running.
You’ll rise up free and easy on that day
And float from branch to branch
Lighter than the air
Just when that day is coming, who can say?
Who can say?
Here’s the deal. There have been a lot of busy days recently. Work has been the usual cluster, which I am used to but it doesn’t make the day any easier. And then my husband and I moved which was no less than two week process and still is happening. Plus the run plan that I’ve been following seem to go on steroids two weeks ago and had me jump up to 36 miles per week whereas before the half I was at about 20.
Needless to say I feel like I was dragging and I had a run in our new neighborhood where I was supposed to do 10 miles of speed and about a mile into it I just couldn’t do it. And it was different from some of the other times where I had hesitation or lack luster feelings about a run. This was a feeling of I can’t do this, I don’t want to do this, I’m not going to do this and I even felt myself get a little bit choked up and teary-eyed. I managed to sort of pull off a 6 mile faster than normal run but I knew that I had to make a change. I knew that I was going to find myself in a position of failing becoming very frustrated at myself.
And so I regrouped. I had the run-in plan re-calculate what I needed to do and I find myself at a 20 or 24 mile week which is manageable. I’ve set up the house a little bit and had a weekend of focus on that. I’m still working to potentially change my workout in the morning so that I have more time in the evening to simply relax and enjoy instead of always moving. I’m also hoping to get to bed earlier and with the addition of a new bed sleep better. Most of all though I am just trying to remain positive and not to consider this bump in the road, which wasn’t that big of a bump or lomg of a bump but still a bump, simply something that happens at times.
That’s the thing about running. You can have bad runs and you can have skipped runs but it’s dtill there when you’re ready. This weekend I had a nice eight mile longer run as well as a random Trail 5K and they both went well and they both made me feel fine about running and fine about where I’m at. Sometimes it takes a little bit of break down , such as it was, to make you recognize and refocus your attitude. Hoping that this minor hiccup I had (mostly mental if not all mental) will prove to make me stronger and more focused on being healthy and happy and fulfilled with running.
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