I Got No Rhythm*

I’ve been finding that ups and downs seem to be happening a lot recently. When I first thought of this post I was going to celebrate the fact that last week I did an early, before work, run or workout EVERYDAY as I had wanted to. It was a tiring but great accomplishment for me. I felt like I’d stuck to a different type of goal and succeed even when, on Friday, I was convincing myself I could do it after work. But I didn’t and entered my long run and new week looking towards keeping the train rolling. Long run also went well. It was cooler than last week and felt all together put together.

And then Monday’s Farley came around...

Even with the success of last week I realized doing a speed workout in the am May end up with me too early (I do OT at 5am already and not sure I want to do a 4:15 twice) so I decided Monday and Tuesdays (because of run club) I’d do workouts after work and have PT be my midweek shift to the am. So I went for my run and it was totally ugh. I had to cut one 5 minutes short and felt bloated and crappy kind of the whole time. The tail wind helped on the way back but the frustration had already welled. I was annoyed and disappointed in myself and I hate feeling like that.

I’m trying to learn how to be forgiving with bad runs or runs that don’t meet my expectations but it’s not easy. I went through this recently which resulted in a change and that was good. This time I don’t want to change something because I don’t feel that ovrewhelming issue I did before, but I also don’t want to feel that failure again. Some of it has to do with diet, some of it has to do with body issues (being a girl, ugh) and some of it just is what it is. It’s a matter of perspective and forgiveness which I’ll have to keep in mind as this long summer goes on.

Especially because at the end of this I may need to offer myself the biggest forgiveness if I don’t BQ.

*Got no feel, I got no rhythm
I just keep losing my beat
I'm OK, I'm alright
I ain't gonna face no defeat
I just gotta get out of this prison cell
One day I'm gonna be free, Lord!