A Little Lost

​After the half and news of our pup, I went into focused mood for him. We didn’t know how much time we had with him and I was off running so it was easy. Or easier. Nothing about it or him was easy. 

He was my little guy. A life form I took care of for over 10 years. The Best Guy. And he was sick and him already short time with us was going to be shorter.

So we cared for him like always but with some more sadness but still hope and love. But then the day came and he collapsed and the short time we had was cut so very short. We said goodbye on a Tuesday and, from there out, nothing would be the same. 

We’ve gotten better over the weeks. It’s less sad, but still empty. He was such a joy even when he was frustrating that, to lose that, lessens our light or at least mine. Everything is just sort of sad in me. 

There’s also a little bit of relief too which is also sad. I never wanted to think of the burden side of him but, without him, there’s just less. Less of everything. 

So all of this to say, there’s not much running these days but maybe soon. Life does go on and, even if I miss him everyday day, that fact won’t change. 

And Just Like That

Last Sunday, we ran our half and, with that, my 2025 season I'm calling officially over. I may put in a Turkey Trot, but not sure as my hip (see below) is still being a problem.

But the half went, overall, at or better than expected. First off, my husband won which is fantastic. It  perhaps wasn't the fastest pool of runners, but still neat that he can do that. I went into the half hopping that, perhaps, I could hold something like a 1:42-1:43 but thinking a 1:45 was more than likely. My coach always seemed on that same page and did not give me any false hope. I ended up running a 1:44:49 so made it under the 1:45 just barely. I actually felt pretty good during the race and the course was harder than I anticipated so holding onto that felt overall good.

This year of training has not been easy. It had some real highlights, I think back to my 20 mile long with with 3 miles at MP and how awesome that felt. But it had more downs overall and I feel like I just kept fighting this year without, in the end, much reward. I also feel like that fight is just gone right now so I'm a little lost as to what I want to do next or how to approach it. I know we're in a life rough patch right now so it's hard to see what might be on the other side of this, but I'm trying.

My goal for the rest of the year is to figure out what's going on with this hip and then to slowly build back in December. I am not sure how much running there will be in November, but I'm not saying none just yet. And then I hope that I'll enter 2026 feeling better and more motivated. There are a lot of changes that are just outside of reach but will be here before I know it so I don't know how all of that will shake itself out on my running journey.

I guess what I am is to find some ease in my life and, while the running is hard, I don't want the other aspects to feel that way. I've been promised it will be different so I'm hoping that's correct. 

For now though, I think I just rest a bit.