Got Your Number

Here’s a good moral: don’t do like I do. 

As previously posted, I’ve been battling with a knee issue that seemed to have come out of nowhere. I took some time off (very little but still - count it!) and I also changed my shoes. Now, about two week from the knee change, no more pain (or we’ll... just the normal pain I have post two knee surgeries). I didn’t do the right thing really; I barely took time off and blamed something else BUT I did begin to stretch more. If anything, because of the quickness and randomness of this pain, it has reminded me (again) to not take my body for granted. I need to remember that I’m abusing my body every day and to consider that when I rest. I need to think more about recovery and stretching. 2019 is just starting and I have to races in my radar - it’s time to remember I’m not necessarily going to bounce back only because I want to. 

This is where my draft ended and I kind of what to pick up right there without deleting it for two reasons. 

The first is that I didn’t post that previously because it was missing something and I realized what it was about a week ago. It was missing the OTHER reason pain sucks. There is the unknown of what is it, will it get better, when will it gets better, etc. But the other part, that part I am so familiar with after two surgeries is how unlike yourself you feel when in pain. I’ve had this to an extreme where I didn’t run for almost a year. I also have it kind of constant but with varying degrees of discomfort. 

When something like my above-mentioned paincomes up it sucks because I dislike myself and how I feel. I don’t feel Whole for so many reasons. I feel like a stranger who is just trying to get by either through force or will or denial neither of which make me feel anymore myself. It makes me feel a little lost and a little like a walking excuse. It makes me change how I go about things in a way I really don’t like. Pain takes so much and, when it is gone or back to normal (whatever that may be) it is amazing how much brighter everything is. Unless you’ve gone through it, it’s hard to explain but that first time you wake up and walk and realize you changed nothing is pure magic and joy. 

Thankfully I’ve got some of that magic back and the pain has subsided. I’m back to normal somewhat but will be trying to address the source of the pain through stretching and even a massage (yessssssss). Pain is humbling and it helps to remember that and to try and avoid it as best you can.