Fought and Lost

I've slowly started to get back into the swing of more running and, as previously posted, I've had two good short races. But those don't remove the cloud that still hangs over Bayshore. The husband has also done some reflecting it seems and appears to understand how his lack of support didn't make the training cycle goes easily or, perhaps, as planned. I will say that I don't entirely place much blame on the outcome on that or on my work stress. Did those things help? Not in the least. If I didn't have them, would I have reached my goal? Meh, who's to say.

And really, the goal is just a number but having a very challenging training cycle, still showing up and being consistent, was really cool. Just not what I wanted.

But...

We wanted it so bad.
Gave it all we had.
Oh, but wanting it doesn't always make it yours.

So, just because I wanted it and I did work for it, doesn't mean I get it. It doesn't mean that it's a forgone conclusion. Therefore, the question becomes, do I try again?

I finally feel like that answer is yes. Not now or for the fall, but for the spring.

So, we will see you here.
Same time, same place, next year.
And you may win this battle but you'll never win the war.
Better to have fought and lost than never fought at all.

Plans may change as my my mind, but I feel a little bit of that fire starting. And who knows... maybe this time it'll be different.

Boom Boom Boom

The training is slowly ramping up as a fall half is on my radar for likely November. I did my first speed workout which was 8x1min with 1 minute rest. It went well enough and was done on the treadmill because of thunderstorms. I'm looking forward to some focus in the training.

I also had the Harvard 5 miler which was my 5th year doing it and a new one minute PR. I didn't really know what I wanted to do going into it although chasing a PR is always on my mind, but this course has a very tough up hill at mile 2.5. Like, I need to walk up hill. So I wrote to my coach saying that I didn't have a plan other than to just stay focus. And I did!

I kept thinking 1) you're okay and aren't dying and 2) do it for David Roche. Yes, you read that correctly.

David Roche is a running, author and podcaster who just attempted Western States and DNF. He had big goals for it and, on the most recent podcast, went though the feelings of that failure. Not on the same stage, but I've felt all those feelings and sought the redemption from those failures. I don't know why I decided that would be my focus, but it was.

I wanted to walk verrrry badly at one point on the hill, but just as my step slowed I said "no" and kept the soft pace up the hill. It ended up being my fastest time up that hill and I managed an under 7 minute last mile. It wasn't pretty (not sure how those photos will look...) but I did it. I tried to "go hunting" for a woman who I had in my sights for nearly 2 miles, but I never caught her. I did get caught on the last 400 meters by a yung gun flying by but that's okay.

I'e gotta say, I was not expected these two shorter races to go well, but they did. It's nice and exciting and makes the fall goal of breaking 1:40 seem possible.