December 28th-January 3rd

I'm not in anything official yet and, honestly, not sure what early 2026 is going to look like to then shape up the rest of 2026. For now, I'm trying to focus on getting healthy both post-whatever-flu-cold-illness I've had for a week and whatever is happening with the back/hip. Then I guess I'll assess some goals. Really, the biggest one right now is to get back on track and excited for working out again. It's been a long time since I felt a spark and I'm hoping maybe putting some more intention into working out will help. So I'll try to log again and see where I'm at.

December 28th: I was feeling a bit better but not great so went for a walk/run on the tread. Not the best but got in 2.28 miles which was the most in far too long.

December 29th: Nada. The work day crushed me and I went to be at 8pm.

December 30th: Birthday dinner and bed at 8:30pm.

December 31st: NYE and, we'll say, I was preserving my energy.

January 1st: Feeling finally better and figured I'd give it an easy go. Around 2.50-3miles on the tread at a low and slow speed watching some YouTube.

January 2nd: I think I'm just still lingering in my tired-state. I'm hopeful a day off from everything will just help and tomorrow and moving forward will finally feel normal.

January 3rd: I got myself to the gym and ellipticaled for about 35 minutes and did some closed circuit legs (press - double and single legged and ab and ad ducters). Not yet feeling the groove but trying. 

Never the Same

​In all honesty, 2025 was meh to blah to awful. It was a lot of work for little success. It was a lot of loss with little gain. It was a year that I felt stuck, still do in some ways, with constant attempts to unstick but with limited success. It was a lot of stress and stressors and discomfort. I felt like, especially in the fall, that I could never get ahead and was always falling short. I kind of then just gave in and gave up to trying to fight against the constant pull in all directions.

And then there was the dog.

The loss of the pup is what really colors the whole year. It’s just a hole that won’t ever be filled and make 2025 bleak and sad. 

I’m not really in a place to say or wish for 2026 to be better. Not because I don’t want it to be but because none of the big loss will ever be okay. 2026 won’t be better because there’s no pup. It’ll be different and maybe that’s what I can hope for and focus on. 

For now, I still carry my sadness and loneliness. I will for a long while but I’m trying to carrying some other things. Some motivation. Excitement for maybe some what ifs. So dedication to answers. Some hope that I can find that spark.

For now, I focused on getting some easy miles in this am and an x-ray tomorrow. It’s going to be the little things in these first weeks and, hopefully, will paint the scene for the year.