For the First Time in a Long Time

I just wanted to share a few more thoughts post providence Marathon because I feel like they are a little bit different than my post Baystate Marathon. After both of my Baystate marathons I had a sense of accomplishment but also a cloud of disappointment. The second one was especially a hard time for me afterwards. It was a hard fought training program, one that had many ups and many downs, and the race itself was the same way. I truly thought I was on the right track and in many ways I was but just a little bit short. During that race I came close to tears when I realize I just couldn’t pull through and upon finishing realizing how close I was and yet how far away I was I thought my heart sing. I wondered where I lost my time and if I could have made it up and settled on the fact that I am not sure where I could have made it up but I am certain that I could have made it up. I was proud of the improvement in my time but super disappointed in the result. And it took a long time to get over that and in many ways I still haven’t gotten over it since I still need to keep running if I ever want to qualify for Boston. After Providence though I have a happier outlook. I think that race took a lot of grits as I explained earlier that I didn’t really focus on before hand. But now upon finishing and thinking back on it and thinking about my time and how I feel couple days after words I am proud of what I did this past Sunday. I think that it was a better showing in many ways in the previous two marathons. I didn’t put in the training but I still had a result that I can be proud of and having run in that weather and just doing what needed to be done now that it has settled in a bit more I’m happy with the experience and how I finish the race. Also unlike after Baystate in which I wondered if I would decide to do a marathon again this was a positive experience in which I am actually looking forward to running a marathon again and looking forward to potentially pushing myself and trying once more for that elusive goal. It makes me look forward to training hard because I see the result of what I consider to be so so training and there is that thought of what could I actually do if I got myself back out there and really focused it’s made me want to focus on other things which I always have on the back burner including but not limited to better nutrition meditation better food etc. As always. Better stretching. So all in all I’m like how my previous post after last year were filled with a better death and a sadness and some regret I don’t feel at this time I feel a sense of accomplishment in a sense of pride which is something that I greatly enjoyed as many people would look forward to the next chapter and just seeing what I decide to do.

Lady Peaceful

And here we are, again, on the other side of the marathon. This time I split the difference: 3:41:50. Not a BQ, not a PRbut I’m more okay with this than after Baystate. The expectation and work weren’t in this one as much although I won’t say that I didn’t work at this one. I just didn’t work as hard as I had for last year’s Baystate so I’m happy with my result. Also it was a wet and not warm race, although I think the tempature wasn’t too bad until I was done. Granted I ran 24 miles in a poncho so maybe not ideal either... What I will say is the following: afterwards and when my husband mentioned how this race took grit I hadn’t thought about that before but I suppose that’s what this one. Yes people have run much worse ones (I live in Boston and remember 2018) but this was a race where I just went out and did it, not thinking. Also it is the first race where I didn’t have my headphones on and I liked that. It caused a different type of focus. I also really focused on the “let’s try to push and see what happens” once I passed a point where I needed to decide if qualifying was an option. That was a nope, but I think some of that stemmed from the no music and really needing to just focus on the running. Lastly, my legs hurt so bad towards the end but I am proud of keeping it together even with slower splits. I wanted to walk really badly but I didn’t and just allowed myself to slow down and put on foot in front of each other. It was a race that I felt like I lost focus with about 8-9 miles to get which is a tad earlier than I’d want. I think some of that stems from the training that I was missing so the fatiage and discomfort came earlier. Some could have also been the weather and my muscles being colder even if I didn’t totally recognize that or feel it. So here are my take aways: I’m in better base shape than I expected which is pretty cool. I can handle the marathon distance and have yet to have a total implosion which is kind of nice. I think I need to keep up the longer speed training and maybe try the long tempos with a longer base which I’ve kind of done before but not entirely. I also need to try and make my longer runs just a bit longer, more like 23-24 when I get up there. I also want to work on diet more and see how that goes especially before the longer speed and long runs. I may also slowly switch back to AM runs once I get back out there. Which leads me to the point that: yeah, it seems I’ll do another marathon. Not sure if I’ll try to find one in the fall or wait until next fall and focus on Hyannis and Eastern States for the winter. I don’t think I want to try a really train hard for a fall race; I don’t think I’ll have the motivation and winter is too picky. So, we shall see but I think I have a 3:30 in me so maybe I’ll try to race a fall half (1:40 goal) and placing in my local turkey trot. But for now, I am resting and enjoying that.

Sight to See*

Like so many post before here we are on race weekend. I haven’t decided how I feel. If you read the last couple of entries I seem a little schizophrenic about how I feel toward running and training. My last 20 miler still has me worried and I wonder how much a benefit that actually ended up being. Or if, in the end, that will have been something that hurt me so it turns out I didn’t really put in the milrge necessary to carry me through 26 miles The other side of me is wondering if maybe I have it in me. I truly believe that I have a 3:30 Marathon well within my grasp but is it this weekend? Probably not and it’s probably not without a lot more work. But I wonder what I am capable of. And if this is the weekend to try once more to push it. There is a also the concern about not having the endurance or the legs to carry me through and I literally just fall apart. That’s more of a embarrassment worry and something I probably shouldn’t concern myself about because who really cares but it’s always in the back of my mind. I don’t feel like I am actually prepared to race this run but I feel like there’s a part of me that is not capable of not racing. So where would that leave me? But that is where the rubber hits the road and only Sunday will tell me how I do. There’s also that part of me that doesn’t want to feel like I do at the end of the races which I think is in evitable when you run 26 miles no matter how hard you push yourself. It’s never a fun feeling right at the end and I’m not sure how mentally prepared I am for that. But we shall see. I’ll catch you on the other side. *They say it's all been done but they haven't seen the best of me So I got one more run and it's gonna be a sight to see