Sight to See*

Like so many post before here we are on race weekend. I haven’t decided how I feel. If you read the last couple of entries I seem a little schizophrenic about how I feel toward running and training. My last 20 miler still has me worried and I wonder how much a benefit that actually ended up being. Or if, in the end, that will have been something that hurt me so it turns out I didn’t really put in the milrge necessary to carry me through 26 miles The other side of me is wondering if maybe I have it in me. I truly believe that I have a 3:30 Marathon well within my grasp but is it this weekend? Probably not and it’s probably not without a lot more work. But I wonder what I am capable of. And if this is the weekend to try once more to push it. There is a also the concern about not having the endurance or the legs to carry me through and I literally just fall apart. That’s more of a embarrassment worry and something I probably shouldn’t concern myself about because who really cares but it’s always in the back of my mind. I don’t feel like I am actually prepared to race this run but I feel like there’s a part of me that is not capable of not racing. So where would that leave me? But that is where the rubber hits the road and only Sunday will tell me how I do. There’s also that part of me that doesn’t want to feel like I do at the end of the races which I think is in evitable when you run 26 miles no matter how hard you push yourself. It’s never a fun feeling right at the end and I’m not sure how mentally prepared I am for that. But we shall see. I’ll catch you on the other side. *They say it's all been done but they haven't seen the best of me So I got one more run and it's gonna be a sight to see