Maybe We Got Lost in Translation

I both have nothing and a lot to say, but I am finding the lot to say getting trapped inside. I am consistently on the edge of wanting to try for more this training cycle (this life cycle) but then am also consistently finding myself tired and stuck. I am tired of being tired off and on and, wonder a bit, if there's something more to that tired (probably not but I have also consistently tried to find excuses this cycle).

I am back to normal mileage for a bit, but I am still falling short of hitting all the goals. My hip still hurts (and the leg) but I have started PT. Apparently it is my sciatica acting up again so hopefully it can correct itself as it did before. I am not hitting hard work outs and at some point I wonder when "it's been a stressful time" becomes "it just isn't this build". 

I am also tired of having a few bad days because of some less than ideal food or drink decisions. I know that's getting older and I also know some of the decisions I knew would mean bad runs, but man... it's frustrating to have to choose and, whenI choose the fun, how annoyed I am later.

Today's long run was tough physically and mentally. I got in 11 miles which is great, a little less than prescribed, but nothing too big. But my stomach rioted the last two miles and is still letting me know eggplant parm and two cocktails is not a good idea. Which I know, but I also like to pretend "this time it'll be different."

I guess the whole point of this post is just to say I don't know. I don't really know how I feel about running right now and I want to shake that off. I think I need to find a new North Star and, for now, I am trying to focus on the healing of the leg and back in hopes that will be about some peace.

Maybe I asked for too much.

But maybe this thing was a masterpiece

Til you tore it all up.