Almost a week later and here where I'm at...
There is a part of me that despite my satisfaction with how I ran is now starting to be evaluated think weight could I have made up those minutes that I needed to? And more importantly I can't believe I really have to do this again. That is sort of where I'm at now too: it's not a question of if I do it again but a question which one I am going to attempt to qualify at. A lot of that has to do with the fact that I am not entirely okay being the only one of us that didn't qualify despite the fact I am probably one of the fastest female runners of my group of friends that I know. But at the end of the day I want to be able to say that I qualified and I know that I was so close and that I believe I can actually do this it is just a matter of once again putting in the time of the dedication.
Originally I began to think maybe I would try this again in May and sort of just try to get it over with as well as potentially run the same Boston as my husband. But upon further evaluation, especially after the week I had in which I am pretty sure I still do not feel okay, I think that I need more time. Because I am always want to try and find vindication in an action I have about 80% made up my mind that I will try to qualify for Boston at Baystate again in 2018. Of course this means that my husband and I would potentially run different Boston's but that's okay. I Deleigh he'll get to have his race and I'll get to have mine and we can both be the support staff for the other person.
In the meantime I'm a little bit lost and what I do from now. I have decided that setting goals is pretty much the only way I will stay on top of a functional runner. So these are my next two goals:
1. Try to place at the local turkey trot that I do here. Last year I did the 5 mile run at a 7:43 pace and ended up seventh in my age group. The person who got third did it at a 730 pace and I am pretty sure if I jump back into speed work in the near future I could do that. So that is goal number one.
2. Run a 1:45 half marathon at Hyannis. This can get a little tricky because the training will be done in winter and it's a little bit harder to focus on doing any sort of speed work. But I think that it is something I can do especially if we have a reasonable race day climate.
So there you have it. I wasn't successful in what I had hoped to accomplish but that doesn't mean that you can't set your sights on something else and hopefully it'll make me feel a little less lost and a little bit better focused for 2018.
Friday, October 27, 2017
Monday, October 23, 2017
Stronger than Yesterday
Okay let's jump straight to the point: I did not make a qualifying time. My end result was 3:45:25 which is about 5 to 8 minutes to slow at this stage. That being said I am only slightly disappointed. I of course would have much preferred to qualify especially since my husband did in a blindingly fast time of 3:02:30. I am happy for him and I also don't feel as left behind as I worried one of us may have felt if one of us qualified and the other didn't. I think some of this acceptance is for two reasons.
The first is that I have other chances and because I was only off by a margin I feel like this is something that I can do. I feel like I know where that family was (miles 20-26 for sure) and I know I can work on having the strength to get through this last 6 miles by going a little bit longer on the long runs. I know I can adjust my training plan to work a little bit harder and now that I've done the train plan one I can see where the tweaks need to happen so I feel that I can better prepare myself to take off those meds that I need to.
The second reason I have found myself not totally disappointed as I am 99% sure I could not have worked harder than I did yesterday. My training brought me to that point and yes I am sure there is some party minute could've dug deeper at some miles before I cross that finish line but right now in retrospection I am not sure that could've come from. I feel like I gave it pretty much my all and that now I can better comprehend how running a marathon works where mentally my next time I may know where to push or lay off a little bit better but yesterday I feel like I did the races I could do it and I was strategic about it it just turned out those last 6 miles kick me in the butt. And I haven't set myself up to be kicked in the butt as badly as I was then.
That being said my last 6 miles were still mostly under nine minutes and I did not fall apart as badly as I possibly could have. I definitely wanted to but I think the mental fortitude push me through as well as the fact that my body was better trained than maybe I was feeling it was at that time. So all of that is very encouraging. I knew going in I had a mental wherewithal to be able to do this and was wondering if I had the physical wherewithal now I know that I definitely have The mental and can have the physical I just may need to tweak it a little bit more.
And the last tidbit at that I would want to leave with is marathons are damn hard. I knew this going in because I've known enough marathoners and I've run enough to know that writing can be a huge challenge. I will say that this may be the most physically demanding thing I've done short of recovery from my ACL surgeries but that was hurt in a different way. I am proud of everyone who is ever run a marathon and I am proud of myself for finally putting this on the done list. I will also say at one point I did say to myself you make your ACL surgeries and just get your ass in gear. It is kind of nice to have some form of history that puts everything into perspective.
Now the question becomes when will I do this again? I have started to look but I have not finalize anything but expect that there will be another time for this. As for this block I may keep it up just detailing other running adventures such as my 5 mile or at Thanksgiving and my hope to PR and a half marathon in February. For the time being I am going to sit and maybe consider the gym on Wednesday.
The first is that I have other chances and because I was only off by a margin I feel like this is something that I can do. I feel like I know where that family was (miles 20-26 for sure) and I know I can work on having the strength to get through this last 6 miles by going a little bit longer on the long runs. I know I can adjust my training plan to work a little bit harder and now that I've done the train plan one I can see where the tweaks need to happen so I feel that I can better prepare myself to take off those meds that I need to.
The second reason I have found myself not totally disappointed as I am 99% sure I could not have worked harder than I did yesterday. My training brought me to that point and yes I am sure there is some party minute could've dug deeper at some miles before I cross that finish line but right now in retrospection I am not sure that could've come from. I feel like I gave it pretty much my all and that now I can better comprehend how running a marathon works where mentally my next time I may know where to push or lay off a little bit better but yesterday I feel like I did the races I could do it and I was strategic about it it just turned out those last 6 miles kick me in the butt. And I haven't set myself up to be kicked in the butt as badly as I was then.
That being said my last 6 miles were still mostly under nine minutes and I did not fall apart as badly as I possibly could have. I definitely wanted to but I think the mental fortitude push me through as well as the fact that my body was better trained than maybe I was feeling it was at that time. So all of that is very encouraging. I knew going in I had a mental wherewithal to be able to do this and was wondering if I had the physical wherewithal now I know that I definitely have The mental and can have the physical I just may need to tweak it a little bit more.
And the last tidbit at that I would want to leave with is marathons are damn hard. I knew this going in because I've known enough marathoners and I've run enough to know that writing can be a huge challenge. I will say that this may be the most physically demanding thing I've done short of recovery from my ACL surgeries but that was hurt in a different way. I am proud of everyone who is ever run a marathon and I am proud of myself for finally putting this on the done list. I will also say at one point I did say to myself you make your ACL surgeries and just get your ass in gear. It is kind of nice to have some form of history that puts everything into perspective.
Now the question becomes when will I do this again? I have started to look but I have not finalize anything but expect that there will be another time for this. As for this block I may keep it up just detailing other running adventures such as my 5 mile or at Thanksgiving and my hope to PR and a half marathon in February. For the time being I am going to sit and maybe consider the gym on Wednesday.
Saturday, October 21, 2017
One More Dawn
And here we go. Tomorrow is the day. I am going into this very nervous and also kind of now thinking I needed to do more. Maybe that's just how it goes, but I find myself doubting very much that I can even maybe manage four hours and I feel a bit out of shape after the last two weeks of tapering. I've been looking over the past long runs, seeing with my own eyes I did those runs and I'm just hoping it was enough. Now, though, I'm hoping it was enough to get me to the finish, forget BQ.
Theres nothing for it now. What will be will be and I have to understand that and celebrate what I've done and learn when this is over.
Right now I have three goal ranges: 1) I joke and say don't die but what I really mean is finished; 2) BQ; or 3) under four hours. I have modified this because that BQ seems far away now and I am findining myself just hoping to finish.
Some many uncertainties and doubts now creep. Did I do enough? Why didn't I run more? Why did I stop doing Sworit? What is going to make or break this? Can I do this? What if I can't?
I'm trying to keep the voices quiet and hope and, right now, that's all I can do.
Theres nothing for it now. What will be will be and I have to understand that and celebrate what I've done and learn when this is over.
Right now I have three goal ranges: 1) I joke and say don't die but what I really mean is finished; 2) BQ; or 3) under four hours. I have modified this because that BQ seems far away now and I am findining myself just hoping to finish.
Some many uncertainties and doubts now creep. Did I do enough? Why didn't I run more? Why did I stop doing Sworit? What is going to make or break this? Can I do this? What if I can't?
I'm trying to keep the voices quiet and hope and, right now, that's all I can do.
Saturday, October 14, 2017
Who's Gonna Walk You Through the Dark Side of the Morning
So here we are entering the last week before the big red. Last week I did 14 miles (after what I ate and drink it was not the best but the pace okay although I still wonder if I can ru faster for longer). Tomorrow I have a 10 miler and that is the last long run. I did my last set of yes sows and my last temple run. Monday I'm supposed to do mile repeats but I may turn that into a tempo-sequel run on Tuesday. Anyway you slice it though we're coming to the end of this endeavor.
It's funny how I started this in July and yet it doesn't seem like it's been that long. I know I've done the one runs, I know I've run over 20 miles or at 20 miles three times, but it doesn't seem like it's possible that I'm supposed to have a race day and just barely over a week. That's not to say that I don't feel prepared. I've really try to come to terms with/approach this race as I did what I did and could I have done more, yes; however, I feel like I did what I wanted to do and I don't feel like one more run or one more speed workout will make a difference. Perhaps the next time. Because I know there was more I could have done but I'm not sure at this stage I would have wanted to do that.
See the thing is I still like running after all of this. My concern with training for something like this was I would be so burnt out and have such a distaste with running that I would want to stop after this. I'm already trying to think of how I plan a schedule so that I can still run consistently even without a large race planned. And I've also come to terms with depending how far off I am and if Evan qualifies that I might distract the shoes back on with in a couple weeks and try again with a slightly alter training plan.
So in eight days regardless of what happens I do feel pretty good about what I did. I know if you're having seen other runners and friends do this that there is so many things that could go wrong next Sunday and I have to take them all literally in stride. Obviously the best thing I can hope for is what I've been planning for this whole time but I've also tried to recognize that may not happen and that I should still enjoy and be proud of what does happen. And if things are close or even maybe if they aren't there can always be a next time and there is a part of me that looks forward to that.
It's funny how I started this in July and yet it doesn't seem like it's been that long. I know I've done the one runs, I know I've run over 20 miles or at 20 miles three times, but it doesn't seem like it's possible that I'm supposed to have a race day and just barely over a week. That's not to say that I don't feel prepared. I've really try to come to terms with/approach this race as I did what I did and could I have done more, yes; however, I feel like I did what I wanted to do and I don't feel like one more run or one more speed workout will make a difference. Perhaps the next time. Because I know there was more I could have done but I'm not sure at this stage I would have wanted to do that.
See the thing is I still like running after all of this. My concern with training for something like this was I would be so burnt out and have such a distaste with running that I would want to stop after this. I'm already trying to think of how I plan a schedule so that I can still run consistently even without a large race planned. And I've also come to terms with depending how far off I am and if Evan qualifies that I might distract the shoes back on with in a couple weeks and try again with a slightly alter training plan.
So in eight days regardless of what happens I do feel pretty good about what I did. I know if you're having seen other runners and friends do this that there is so many things that could go wrong next Sunday and I have to take them all literally in stride. Obviously the best thing I can hope for is what I've been planning for this whole time but I've also tried to recognize that may not happen and that I should still enjoy and be proud of what does happen. And if things are close or even maybe if they aren't there can always be a next time and there is a part of me that looks forward to that.
Sunday, October 1, 2017
Set Fire
And here we are: last long run done. It was a 22.22 in 3:13:30 at a 8:43 pace. I'm still sore, although it was only a few hours ago. We'll see how tomorrow goes with walking... but I'm happy to be at this point. It's been a long road with a lot of miles but that's to be expected obviously. I'm still enjoying running which is pretty neat despite the run sometimes really dragging and being a lot of effort. I hope everything that I'm aiming to do comes to fruition, but unlike how I started his blog with the importance hinging more on this needing to be a BQ race, I've turned around a bit and am hoping to run it and run it well and if the time matches up that would be great but if it doesn't I don't think I'll be devastated.
Running how hundreds of miles can change your perspective. That's the amazing thing about running: sometimes what you think you're gonna get out of it, it something different entirely.
Running how hundreds of miles can change your perspective. That's the amazing thing about running: sometimes what you think you're gonna get out of it, it something different entirely.
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