The Screams All Sound the Same

I'm pretty sure I've used this song before and maybe that part of it, but I don't care to look back. I am trying to continue to look forward as a matter of fact. This world is upside down and it has been stressful for everyone and I am not immune to that. I have had more anxiety and stress triggers these past months than ever (expect maybe when competitively roller skating?) It's insane, scary, stressful and so many other feelings. I try to keep on top of my anxiety and stress, but some times it just comes at you and evening ducking doesn't seem to help. I did a ride, though, where the instructor said: "here we save ourselves." I've been doing that or trying, but I know I just have to keep at it. And I don't think it needs to be taken as "I am an island and I have no one to support me" because I do (even if they are not always what I need exactly). But I took it as, you can ask for help, you can get help, but you still need to save yourself at the end of this all. So that's what I'm trying to remain myself and will continue to remain myself. The other thing I shall keep focus on is what is stressing me out? Yes, there is the underlying "what if I get sick or someone else sick?" But what is it really? Do I think I'm sick... probably not. Could I get sick, yes definitely. But I'm in a house, with a family, with a job (although that is certainly it's own stressor). I am as safe as we can be (or I try to be) and I am not trapped at the end of the day. I just need to keep remanding myself of these things and stay focused if not positive.