But I Did Not Lose

Coming back into running is taking a bit this go around. Last year, I was riding the high of my race turnout and was ready to go! right away. The body needed time, and a hard Marcotte 5k definitely highlighted that, but I was instantly excited for the next thing.

The year before with Providence I was emotionally not ready but physically and mentally I needed to get going again to prove I was okay. I got out pretty quick and just kept going all the way into getting a coach.

This year I’m not sure where I’m at. There’s a bit of emotional whiplash from this block with home and work. It was a lot of work to get through this block and I feel like I’m still recovering. I feel like I’m needing the ability to say no to running but I also hate that. So I’m saying kinda to it.

Today’s run was the first since Bayshore were I felt a bit like my old self with some pep and not just awkward aches and things. It seems like running is waiting for me which is nice and I’ll get there soon.

Tomorrow is the Marcotte 5k which I’m pretty sure I’ll go to and just see what happens. But if I wake up and I feel like crap I won’t.

And I'll dream each night of some version of you.That I might not have, but I did not lose. Now you're tire tracks and one pair of shoes. And I'm split in half, but that'll have to do.