Hit the Ground Running

One of the difficult things about winter for myself it’s finding the motivation to do speed work when it’s dark and cold outside. I imagine that this is a problem that faces most runners who are training for something during this time of year on the coast or an area of the world where winter is really a thing. In some ways I suppose I could overcome the cold and just really suck it up and warm up better but part of it too is the darkness where you can’t be totally securing your foot falls. There is something really unnerving about trying to go as close to all out on something when you are in 100% sure if what you’re stepping on is going to be slippery or not. So like many other people and runners once daylight savings hits and I get my evenings back there is a sense of relief that comes with it. And a sense of wanting to do more. Once you decide that you want to do more which for me means trying to do speed work there is that hesitation of “how will it go?” There are very few things as telling us how good and shape you are as a speed workout. It’s something that you can push yourself through but because you are literally watching a Clock the whole time you entirely understand the splits that you are missing as it’s happening. It also is one of the hardest things to try and correct midway through. All that being said I decided I would get back on a track and try my yasso work out that I had been avoiding for a pretty long time. Turns out I still have it in me. Not to be entirely cliché but I do think that OT has had something to do with the fact that when I did my yasso my splits were as good if not better than the last time I did them this summer. Some of it may have to do with the fact that I’m not as burnt out when I’m trying them at that time. Either way it was an accomplishment for me and made me feel a little bit more confident going into this Marathon. I’m still not sure what to expect from it nor what I want to try to set my expectations at but I feel like maybe there is a chance that I can have a race that I’m proud of. Not sure if there’s any chance of having it being a Boston qualifier but I think that there is a part of my body and mind that feels I could push if I felt good that day for that goal.

I Ain’t No Superman

I had a fun, new adventure yesterday for long run: running part of the marathon course. 

First off, let me say that it was a great weather running day weather wise. It was sunny, with no wind, but you still wanted gloves and a hat. 

Second, the Boston Marathon route is simply flooded with runners. 

I guess I never understood how many people were out on these days preparing for the race. It was a bit overwhelming and sort of made it feel like a race, but also made it pretty cool in that regard. 

Third, I had a good running buddy with me who actually kept me moving faster than I wanted, or maybe I did with him, but either way it was the longest I’ve ever run with someone who is kind of cool. 

Overall, the run went well. 

I’m still not totally sure what to expect from Providence and there’s this part of me whispering “you can still try to qualify” but there’s a part of me that is a bit louder saying “don’t push it and enjoy this for what it is”. We shall see which wins out come May 5th, but I am working towards having a good race even if not my best race. 

I also had a lot of different thoughts while doing this run about what it means to do Boston. 

For me, I’ve always thought (when I’ve thought about running Boston) that I want to qualify to run it and that it mattered how I got there. It still matters to me and I doubt I’ll run Boston without qualifying (unless I find a charity that I love and support) but looking at all the runners and the variety of, shall we say, talent out there on the course made me realize that maybe only a few of us view Boston with such respect. Now, don’t get me wrong that charity runners do great things, but that’s on the financial side of things. On the running side: meh. 

One thing I’ve learned about a marathon is anyone can do it, but not everyone can do it well. Most people who run Boston, who go to work the next day or a few days later saying “they ran Boston” don’t really do that. The finish it. They are there. But they don’t run it. I’ve always wanted to to run it and, to run it, I need to qualify. 

I think that charity runners are wonderful but, as I said to my friend, maybe there’s a part of me that enjoys the work that comes with a marathon that no one cares about, that is running and racing for me and not for the Monday in April. But, as I also said, maybe that’s also coming from he bitter place of someone who hasn’t qualified and is refusing to get the starting line by another mean right now.

At the End of the Day

Two posts! 

Here’s the Hyannis breakdown because racing season is here! Going into Hyannis we knew the weather was going to be wet and windy and it did not disappoint. I have actually been very lucky with race weather and truthfully I don’t think I’ve raced in rain before (shocking I know. I HAVE played lots is frisbee in it though). 

Anyhow I went in hoping for a 1:45-1:50 because I’ve not really done sped other than OT and I had my knee stuff happening (see previous post). There is ALWAYS the hope of a PR but I know not every race can be done despite 2018. So the weather was like 40, real feel 30 something and it was pouring. I wore a poncho for 11 miles and still got soaked through to my base layer. 

 Sidenote: I don’t actually have a rainproof or even resistant rain coat. I ordered one on Amazon last night... 

The end result of my windy, wet and, at times hilarious, half was 1:45:25. Not to shabby! Third best in my half career and here’s the thing: I had some moments of “oh UGH this needs to stop; I’m not gonna make it” BUT those passed and, with my time, I can actually see a 1:40 somewhere on my horizon. That’s a nice feeling because I wasn’t sure how I’d feel. 

It makes me excited for the future races. I’m still not sure what Providence will bring or if I’m going to up my training, but I like the feeling of there’s still more in me.

Got Your Number

Here’s a good moral: don’t do like I do. 

As previously posted, I’ve been battling with a knee issue that seemed to have come out of nowhere. I took some time off (very little but still - count it!) and I also changed my shoes. Now, about two week from the knee change, no more pain (or we’ll... just the normal pain I have post two knee surgeries). I didn’t do the right thing really; I barely took time off and blamed something else BUT I did begin to stretch more. If anything, because of the quickness and randomness of this pain, it has reminded me (again) to not take my body for granted. I need to remember that I’m abusing my body every day and to consider that when I rest. I need to think more about recovery and stretching. 2019 is just starting and I have to races in my radar - it’s time to remember I’m not necessarily going to bounce back only because I want to. 

This is where my draft ended and I kind of what to pick up right there without deleting it for two reasons. 

The first is that I didn’t post that previously because it was missing something and I realized what it was about a week ago. It was missing the OTHER reason pain sucks. There is the unknown of what is it, will it get better, when will it gets better, etc. But the other part, that part I am so familiar with after two surgeries is how unlike yourself you feel when in pain. I’ve had this to an extreme where I didn’t run for almost a year. I also have it kind of constant but with varying degrees of discomfort. 

When something like my above-mentioned paincomes up it sucks because I dislike myself and how I feel. I don’t feel Whole for so many reasons. I feel like a stranger who is just trying to get by either through force or will or denial neither of which make me feel anymore myself. It makes me feel a little lost and a little like a walking excuse. It makes me change how I go about things in a way I really don’t like. Pain takes so much and, when it is gone or back to normal (whatever that may be) it is amazing how much brighter everything is. Unless you’ve gone through it, it’s hard to explain but that first time you wake up and walk and realize you changed nothing is pure magic and joy. 

Thankfully I’ve got some of that magic back and the pain has subsided. I’m back to normal somewhat but will be trying to address the source of the pain through stretching and even a massage (yessssssss). Pain is humbling and it helps to remember that and to try and avoid it as best you can.

I’m a Warrior

This post was written back in the summer, but I never put it up. Hearing a song made me recall it and finally post it.

This weekend, though, I couldn’t help but think of Mollie Tibbetts. I only know the story from the press and there is nothing more unique about her story then the other ones I’ve heard (or the countless that we haven’t heard). I know she likely wasn’t the only runner, female or male, attacked that day and possibly killed but her story is the one we hear now and is the one making people take pause.

As I ran today, I thought about how I, or any of my friends, could have been or could be Mollie. I did not run on July 18th but I ran four days that week. I’ve run at 5:30am and 7pm at night. I’ve run local loops and new adventure loops. I’ve run in sun, rain and snow. I’ve run with a phone and without a phone. I’ve run in long pants and short shorts. Tank tops and long sleeve shirts. And never have I been afraid when I went out the front door.

With Mollie’s story (or more locally Vanessa Marcotte’s) there becomes a wave of fear within the running world, especially for female runners. I do not think this fear is unwarranted and that makes me so angry. I’m mad because runner’s change their paths because of these crimes. Runner’s change their clothes. They carry mace. They shorten runs or, worse of all, skip runs all together. Something that is supposed to bring joy and health brings fear and pain.

This weekend I thought long and hard about what this means to me as a runner and how it impacts me. As I ran I realized that I am refusing to be afraid right now. I will run because I can and because I can defy those who pray on runner’s because of their vulnerability. I will be cautious because I should be, but I will run because that is all that Mollie, Vanessa and all those whose names I don’t know wanted to do: they wanted to run because it was something they loved and needed just as it is for me.

It is not fair what happened and there is no sense in these stories. Everyone should be able to lace up theirs shoes and enjoy a mile or ten without fear of attack or death. And so I encourage all my friends, male and female, to go and take a run because it is something powerful and beautiful and should not be held captive by fear and hate. 

Young But Not That Bold

it’s been a while since I’ve dealt with an injury that I feel I need to take actual time off. The last time was two years ago post Lei-Out when I thought I had done damage to my new ACL. (I hadn’t). I’ve had little things here and there but I’ve kept at it and pushed through.

I’m now two-ish weeks into knee pain with five days of no running and only limited gym time.  I’m not sure what I did, although I don’t think it’s something worse than inflammation and/or over use but it’s frustrating. I’m worried about the next 3-4 months with the various races I have planned. I’m trying to have patience but it’s hard because... I’m me. It’s hard for me not to workout and, really, to work out hard. I miss that feeling and I can feel myself wah-wahing a bit in life.

I did do OT this am and, while it hurt some during the process, this afternoon it’s no worse than before. I soaked in a bath and am trying Icy Hot. For some reason straight ice hasn’t helped this far. I’m trying to focus on stretching and, assuming I’m coming back and gearing up for Hyannis, I’ll need to keep an eye on how I feel and ease back into this.

I try to always remember that a rest time isn’t an end game decision. There will be more time to come back and figure things out.

My Revival

Much like the past summer, I’m finding myself needing to reboot this new year. Between travel, a cold, THE cold and the sudden start of Providence training I’m a little...well...huh...crap time to focus. So that’s what I’m going to try and do.

F.O.C.U.S.

I wish I could come up with some witty thing that stood for but, nope.

Regardless of the lack of wit, here’s the deal. I need to stay healthy which is a little bit of a worry with some knee pain happening that I can’t quite figure out. But I did survive frisbee so there’s also that. I need to figure out how to balance OT and the run increase of eventually step back from OT. I also need to get use to attempts at speed work in the cold.

I know I can do this I just need to keep at it. While running on Tuesday on the treadmill I heard the song that is the subject here which is what I’m trying to keep in mind. Sometimes you need to not only focus but to acknowledge a new start of that.