Training Week September 6th - September 12th

Sunday, September 6th: I wanted to find something to motivate me like a weekend Orangetheory used to so I planned and held true to the hour ride at 8am. It was good (aside from the Dog Issue, ugh) and a PR. I hope to try and keep that up a bit. The weather is changing a bit so I don't need to adjust for the long run as much so I, perhaps, a Peloton morning can fit in. 

Monday, September 7th: I wanted to run but my shin is a little off right now and painful so I skipped it and instead kick my own butt at a 30 minute ride that I've taken before. New PR, baby! It was hard, but not as hard as I thought it potentially could be with the improvement. I was digusting, for sure, but it felt good.

Training Week August 30 - September 5th

Sunday, August 30th: A good trip around the long bike ride I've done before. I felt much better and seemed to have a better handle on this biking thing. I hope that it continues to feel better and more secure. I'm not sure I'll ever get much beyond 30 miles because... well that's a long time to do one thing, but we'll see. I think it makes the husband happy so there's also that. 

Monday, August 31st: This was a weird run. I took off, planning five and everything felt good so I kept going and I also kept going fast. It was nice and unexpected. I think it goes to show a bit about how sleeping a good amount can be a positive. I'm not sure about the pacing (I did doubelcheck) so maybe I'm just having a small bump up in my ability? Of course, now there is the worry about what happens if I get sick, but I think that just came about at present because... well... you know. 

Tuesday, September 1st: My friend had her 300th Peloton ride so I clearly had to join in. Aside from the moment when I just stopped doing the arms, not all together a bad ride especially after the quick run yesterday.

Wednesday, September 2nd: I called this a simple run and that pretty much was all it was. I felt like I could go out and wanted to go out so I did. I'm surprised my legs are holding up as well as they are an my paces. Trying to just keep at it and, perhaps, this is just a little level up thingy. 

Thursday, September 3rd: Again, just a run that got me out there and got me reaching my miles. I am pretty sure I'm going to try and do the Baystate half which will help with focus a bit more on a training plan, although what I've been doing would probably be good enough to accomplish the half. 

Friday, September 4th: I finally added in a rest day. I didn't truly feel like I needed it but it seemed like a good idea plus... house to myself so post-work bath for the win. 

Saturday, September 5th: Long run with Peloton. I wanted some company on this run so plugged in Becs and it was nice. There was a good moment about 2/3rds through where she just kind of says those right things that are, perhaps, too deep for running but, while running, perhaps not.

Training Week August 23rd - August 29th

August 23rd: I did a Peloton ride because I felt prety good and not beat up plus it's a good way to get my mileage in for the week since I missed it in running. 

August 24th: I actually don't know why I decided to do another bike after the various running and biking I did, but it appears that's exactly what I did so... there you go. 

August 25th: This began the weird decision to do the Eastern States 4x5mile even though, as of this moment, I'd have to run 5 miles in a row for four days which, while not a ton, it is certainly more than what I usually do in that order. And so... we'll see how this goes (spoiler alert I know the ned as I write this). 

August 26th: Day two of four. Feeling okay and the Woodkid "Run Boy Run" song helped. 

August 27th: Day three in which I realized I am just going to do this because I know have to. It's been fun to focus on something and to know that at least one friend is doing it as well. 

August 28th: Last day and it was the worst. Felt super tired and a little (shhh) light headed but it's a wrap and there won't realy be hard activities for a few days so... all in all, that feels pretty good. 

August 29th: Just a little rainy walk-about in western Mass. I'm not overly sad that we didn't have the weather to try and summit. Turns out, mentally speaking, I don't think I really like hiking.

It's Not that Deep

For me running is something that I've done very regularly for a long time now. It is something that I enjoy and makes my life complete. It is, overall, something that I am good at as in each run tends to go at least okay. I've kept fitness up over the years to ensure that and it's a nice thing to know that, when I put on my shoes, I will probably have an okay time, if not a good time, on the road. 

There are definitely runs that are better than others and ones that are more frustrating. It's hard, during the frustrating ones, not to get down about the performance or wonder why you are even bothering to be out there if it is just pointless. It's easy to lose some of the joy from the run and focus on the failure that your mind offers up. But, as I began my longer run yesterday and figured I'd face those moments of "why bother", "this isn't going how I want it to go", "etc" I began to try and focus on the reality of what I was doing: I was going for a run. Simple as that. 

I am not a professional running - I do not need to hit certain milestones to ensure I have a job or can make money. There is plently of more important things that are going on in my life than an eight-mile run. The run is what is supposed to be bring focus, peace, relaxation and reprieve. So, why worry about the performance? Why make it in to something more than what it is? Sometimes there just needs to be a reminder that this is just a run and that is okay.

Training Week August 16 - August 22nd

Sunday, August 16th: I felt pretty good post-Falmouth so I decided to just do a low-impact ride to keep things fresh. 

Monday, August 17th: Since the weekend was less full with activities, I thought why not add in a run? So I did. It was good and also was nice to continue to take advantage of the break in the heat. 

Tuesday, August 18th: A semi-speed workout but not entirely. I jumped into the run with Matty Maggiacomo and even the fun runs tends to up the speed a bit even if not focused as a HIIT or interval run. Overall, it was fine and felt good. 

Wednesday, August 19th: I guess I'm just going to keep the speed work up. I did a HIIT ride with Robin. It wasn't bad - HIITs actually aren't my favorite because I someitmes feel like there are a little too out of control with the on-off-on-ff so I don't get a groove going, but I guess maybe there is something positive with that as well...? 

Thursday, August 20th: I WFH'ed and so my eating was super messed up. I knew going out this run was going to hurt as my stomach was already pretty wonky. And I was right. It wasn't quite as bad as I thought (I was able to get the run done) but it certainly was not fun. I suppose it helped that I knew it was going to be blah so I just focused. 

Friday, August 21st: I considered doing nothing and did nothing for a while and then got bored. So I jumped on the bike for a brief (and fun) 15 minute ride to just let off some steam. 

Saturday, August 22nd: I am finding that I think I still enjoy a longer run on Saturday instead of Sunday. It, as I write this on a Sunday, makes the weekend feel more like a weekend. Today I can do what I want because yesterday I worked. It was 8 miles and overall not bad until that last two when the temperature began to rise. I needed to keep focus and really went to the basics (counting my steps) to try and forget about the discomfort and the annoyance and frustration that can come with that. It mostly worked and overall was a pretty good run.

Training Week August 9th - August 15th

Sunday, August 9th: This was not an enjoyable long run, haha. It was too humid and too late. I suffered through the last mile and, in testament to the yuck of it all, the Husband called me to pick him up form his run. Summer running in its finest. 

Monday, August 10th: Day o' Rest. 

Tuesday, August 11th: I jumped on the Peloton for the semi-normal routine of biking and fitting in arms.  

Wednesday, August 12th: I don't really remember this run, but based on my Strava post (it's a quote) it seems like it was one of those semi-peaceful runs where things just sort of happen. 

Thursday, August 13th: I remember feeling awkward pretty much this whole run. It was just one of those where I never seemed to fully warm-up or have my feet under me. It wasn't bad, per se, just annoying.  

Friday, August 14th: I'm planning to run Falmouth tomorrow so rested. 

Saturday, August 15th: Falmouth virtual road race. I plugged a Becs run on in hopes it would keep me focused and speed up. The goal was to run in under an hour and I mananged 55:48 or a 7:52 pace. Not too bad and I feel good about that. I think with a proper warm up I could do better (true in pretty much all my races I feel like) but I am happy with the result as I haven't trained as I once did for this race. And, yes, the Peloton did help.

Reflection

The other night my husband said something to me, about me that I wonder how accurate it truly is versus how he sees me. We were discussing working out and he mentioned how he always feels like he trying to keep up with me. I replied that I'm hardly doing anything that is hard to keep up with (true) other than perhaps the fact what I do get in can be on the end of a Very Long Day and a Very Long Week. But, to my point, his reply to me was that he knows I want more (and implied is I will work hard once that comes around). Now while I appreciate this assumption of me and my work ethic I'm not sure where I really stand with the future. Am I not working hard now because there's the thought of "why bother?" or is it something nore? I really hope that he is right. That when the times become more normal again, I will find myself with a drive that has floundered since March. I guess, like so many other things in life, we shall see but I suppose there is something pretty cool about someone believing in you when you aren't so sure.

Training Week August 2nd - August 8th

Sunday, August 2nd: The heat was down but the humidity was the same it felt like. I brought water which was a good call and probably something I need to focus on more. I managed to get back to a 7 miles plus long run so hopefully I can keep trending that way while still having a cap because... why run more if there's no half on the horizon...? 

Monday, August 3rd: Still doing my rest thing. 

Tuesday, August 4th: We had super winds today so I did a 45 minute arm and interval. I knew as soon as it started I was not in the mood but kept going. The power flicker in the middle that cost me some arms was sad but, in the end, not too sad. 

 

Wednesday, August 5th: I had A DAY and decided I was going to have A RUN too so picked a route that I knew had a good hill that was manageable (so I wouldn't feel defeated) but trying so I could enjoy the downhill and feel a little bit of that joy for having survived. 

Thursday, August 6th: I did another combo 5K with a 20 minute ride. Both went okay and it seemed like a good balance. I liked the 20 minute ride and saved it because I feel like I didn't do it as well as I could.  

Friday, August 7th: A run without a plan ended in almost five miles. I don't really know what I thought on this run but I kind of remembering thinking a lot but it all just melted away into a general feeling of: man this is a lot and what am I doing, but that's okay, let's try and be positive. It's been a trying couple weeks... months? Sometimes it just catches up. 

Saturday, August 8th: PR on a 45 minutes. This one was good but gross, haha. I pushed to get over the 400 output and made it with seconds to spare. It was a good PR though and I'm excited to try and keep pushing although... maybe excited it too strong of a word because this was rough.

Training week July 26th - August 1st

Sunday, July 26th: I defintely did not ahve the long ("long") run feel today so managed 5.5 but added on a 30 minute Peloton. I keep wavering between adding in running speed work and calling the bike my speed work. This was an attempt to keep the time for a Sunday long run up even if it wasn't all running. 

Monday, July 27th: Still resting. 

Tuesday, July 28th: PR on the Peloton, woot. It was a long holding interval ride which I hadn't done before but it was good. It was interesting because it was more like running and those hold than a lot of the other stuff that I do on the bike which I'm still getting used to. I also somewhere here adjusted my bike a bit and that seems to be making a small, but perhaps big, difference. 

Wednesday, July 29th: See above about what I am doing re: speed biking v. running. This was a Peloton tread run outside. It took a little adjustment because the run was inclined based, but it wasn't too bad. It was amazing how having a voice in my ear made the 5.5 really go by fast. The downside is my phone is old and I need to like unload stuff to save the tread lass. 

Thursday, July 30th: A work from home day that was a disaster I think. I had a wicked headache and was more stressed and annoyed than when I go in. It's too bad because I think the change would be nice but I am not sure if it will work for me. There's too much to be done, I worry and I am not sure I am successful at home. I did a run in hopes it would help make me feel better. It at least didn't make me feel worse.  

Friday, July 31st: A last minute plan change had this as a rest day. 

Saturday, August 1st: Since I skipped yesterday's run, I put in a 5K along with the bike in lieu of doing a longer Peloton. Felt pretty good and I think I may embrace this double stuff especially if I'm not going to do OT soon.

Training Week July 19th - July 25th

These next few weeks are done nearly three weeks late. Let's see how the memory is... 

Sunday, July 19th: Trying to get the long run a bit back on track. I recall wanting to keep a slower split time and managed to do that (8:45). It's still quite hot and humid so that was also some of the reason for it.  

Monday, July 20th: Still resting on Mondays. 

Tuesday, July 21st: I went out after work to keep up the miles knowing it was hot but overall not a bad run despite that. I think there is a little "getting used to" the heat that comes with it even if it doesn't always feel that way. 

Wednesday, July 22nd: Finally breaking in some new shoes. Not sure if I recall anything in partcular about why I did two runs in a row, but there you go. 

Thursday, July 23rd: Peloton 30 with arms. 

Friday, July 24th: Trying to end the work week with a 5K. Sometimes this is more so I can say that I did it than anything else. I need to keep focused on the mind over matter as this continues. 

Saturday, July 25th: 30 minute and 10 minute ride. I enjoy Kendall but man does she make you work for it.

Smell of Yesterday*

The more things change, the more they stay the same. It's hard to believe in some ways that it's been over four months, entering five months, since everything changed. I still remember going out to dinner on March 13th and claiming, like so many, "it'll be like the flu" and things will pass. 

And then restaurants closed and stores, then my work, and then everything stopped it seemed. 

For me, I was both lucky enough and, perhaps, unlucky in some way, to have a job that not only stayed open but had to stay open. My husband was the same. It kept the focus off of many things but it also made it harder because I was trying to function in a totally different reality. It still is that way, but the world (or at least my state) has been in the process of re-opening for weeks now and we are at a point where we will remain until treatment or a vaccine per our Governor. So, I guess, unless we have to shut down more, this is it for now. This is our new world for the foreseeable. 

 It's not necessarily a bad world, but it isn't easy. For us, it is easier than for so many. We are lucky and, I hope, remain so. I hope our parents and siblings remain healthy and we see each other soon in 2021 and hug it all out. I hope, like so many, this is the beginning of the end but in a good way not in the tragic way that wording usually means. 

It is still hard. 

It is still exhausting. 

And, while the world changed, I tried to keep some things close like running and working out. I haven't done my best at it, but I think I've done enough. I've tried to remain healthy and tried to remain positive even when the negative swarmed and continues to swarm. I hope that these weeks continue to hold steady (maybe improve although I do doubt that for us but maybe elsewhere in the country). I hope that the fall is not the diaster everything believes it will be although I am not well-versed enough in that to even grasp what is in store. I hope that I can continue to find peace in running even when it's not there is any other place, and sometimes, not even while on the road. Some times the start, middle and end of my run is still filled with anxiety and stress, but, I suppose, at least it is there and I can do it. At least it is something in these times. 

*Oh, I can't tell you a story 

There's nothing more to say 

We'll just move on like the others 

Who smell of yesterday 

And so lead us off somewhere 

Not where we fought and died 

'Cause we'll be catching the wind before nobody is alive

Training Week July 12th-July 18th

Sunday, July 12th: As mentioned at the end of last week, I'm dubbing this a week off of running for various reasons. So I did a Peloton ride and will figure out the schedule for the rest of the week a bit later. It's back the the normal bru-ha-ha this week so we shall see how it goes and how I feel and so much more.  

Monday, June 13th: I'm keeping with Monday as a rest day so did that and returned to the full work week without any bells on. 

Tuesday, June 14th: I have some new Peloton instructors I'm focusing on these next few weeks so I did a Fun Run. It went well in terms of the overall pace for not being an interval or HIIT class (8:15 for four miles) but the class so okay. She was fun but the music wasn't may favorite always.  

Wednesday, June 15th: I did an interval and arms Peloton that was so-so. It wasn't super hard and I didn't super push and I was having a rough end of the so just keeping moving until this was done. Much of this week will be just push through and get back on a track and back to how it once was and will continue to be. 

Thursday, June 16th: This was a very pleasant run. My feet moved easily, my pace felt steady, everything just seemed to work. It was one of those runs that I didn't want to end, but knew that I needed to have it end or else I risked ruining it. I appreciate these runs more than I think I once did and I hope I continued to do so. 

Friday, June 17th: It was a little of a rough start; tired legs and tired everything, but by a mile it started to click and I went about half a mile more than I planned and everything seems to wake up and feel fine by yhe mid of the run. Saturday, June 18th: Usually I try to do a longer ride on Saturdays but I didn't really feel like it so went for the 30 minute. I did manage a PR by just a few points which was pretty cool and, though it was a lot of work, it wasn't like a was entirely spent so I can see the growth that I may have at my fingertips.

Training Week July 5th-July 11th

Sunday, July 5th: Pretty sure this was a bad idea of a long run. I slept like poop and knew from the moment I was up and got ready this was going to be a struggle. Turns out I was 100% right. I actually managed to keep the splits good and heart rate manageable but I did need to stop in the shade a few times. Plus I wanted to get to 8 and realized that was dumb and stopped at 7.54. I wish it had felt better because I wanted a run where it didn't seem like work and this felt like work nearly every step, but that's how it can go sometimes. Monday, July 6th: So begins my vacation week so since I know we are traveling tomorrow I did a low impact. The rest of the week it going to be off grid and so off workout as well. Tuesday, July 7th: Travel dat and set-up tent day. Small 3ish mile hike once settled. Wednesday, July 8th: We were supposed to bike but the road wasn't what was expected so just a small walk again. Thursday, July 9th: This was supposed to be the summit of the Moutain. I failed and my husband was kind. Friday, July 10th: To make up for the lack of a bike ride, road with the husband back on familiar roads. 20 miles which went relatively well. I expect it gets easier...? Saturday, July 11th: I did not get out early enough to run so I did a Peloton and then decided I will just dub this a week of no running. Let rest and regroup (on all of 2020?).

Training Week June 28th-July 4th

Sunday, June 28th: It increased 10 degrees form when I started this run and ended it. I find myself wavering between 7-9 miles and so I've gone back down to 7 this week. There's really no good training reason to go beyond that for me, personally, so I'm okay with seeing an hour long run in there once a week. It was okay aside from the heat but as my Strava post questions: how did I do marathon training in this? Monday, June 29th: Rest, rest with work. Tuesday, June 30th: So weather is going to be an issue this week. I waited but the chance of lightning kept increasing and eventually I jumped on the bike, during which the storm came through so I'm okay with that decision. It means my running miles will be down this week, I bet, but can't win them all. Wednesday, July 1st: And stormy again so back on the bike. This was a really good ride and a PR which is awesome. I think it helped that I hven't run in a few days so my spin legs were fresher. I also think that I don't always go as hard as I can which is fine since I'm not a spinner by nature. Thursday, July 2nd: Finally able to get out and run. I enjoy that a cramp decided to join me for a while. I kept at it and it went away so that's good. It was a good run and one that I felt happy about and focused AND it came after a long day of work. I am not looking forward to the return of the normal work and running/work out balance, but perhaps it's something that I've needed this whole time. Friday, July 3rd: I got out and did an Interval run plus some to get to five. The whole pace of the run was 7:55 so that's pretty sweet. It was cooler even though the humidty which is typical this time of the year. Saturday, July 4th: The Peloton I decided on today was so-so. It was fun seeing all the instructors but it felt disjointed and I didn't get the impact you can have on these rides. But that's okay and it went well enough.

Turn Around*

Just recently I started to have the Achilles pain that I had last fall. My hamstring has been off and on tight through out most of this past year but I think I'm managing that a little better (defintely could do more, but you know... lazy). THe Achilles is frustrating because it actually hurts and I can't quite determine how to fix it. I did swtich to a newer pair of shoes so I hope that helps. I was wearing some sneakers at work and I wonder if, somehow, that is an issue (last time I think the shoes I wore played a big role in this issue). I find it surprising that sneakers would do more harm that heel or flats, but then again, how is anyhting surprising these days? I'll play around with that part a bit and see what's up. Meanwhile, I'm now back to the debate of ir I take a little time off the road to adjust and stick to the bike a bit. Tomorrow I'm hoping to do my normal 7 or so and may see how it feels but that's something to consider over the next few days. *Bright Eyes.

Training Week June 21st - June 27th

Sunday, June 21st: Since I had a string of harder workouts and a long day yesterday, I decided to take today as no long run but get some miles and an easy ride. I went out when it was already too warm I think (this New England Summer!) so had some regrets, but got a 3.32 in. I jumped on the Peloton for a low impact which seemed fine. Monday, June 22nd: As the new usual, rest day although with work so... you know. Tuesday, June 23rd: It started hot and ended hot and I don't mean that in a sexy way. I am not sure if my Garmin is off but average heart rate was 172 with a pace of 8:33 (the FitBit has a been rate so I'm thinking somewhere in between). I didn't feel like I was working as hard as the Garmin says I was although the humidity was 85% on my weather app and 98%(!!) on Strava so maybe I was working hard. Wednesday, June 24th: I knew going into today getting a workout would require focus. I stayed too late at work but came home pretty much right on time (once the dog was handled) to skip into a 20 minute live ride. It was hard and I wasn't prepared (I also road with one friend and one "friend" who always beat me so it is a little discouraging). I can't tell if I'm worn out mentally and physically (while still able to push through) or just still don't know how to bike well. Probably both. I added on a very fun 15 minute low impact, though, that I literally belted out during the songs. I love those rides. Thursday, June 25th: I shifted around my planned speed work and just did a 4 miles-ish run after work. The humidity broke so that was nice and I'm playing with the Garmin to try and find a heart rate that makes sense so I can work on my work effort. Friday, June 26th: I did a HIIT run with Becs on Peloton and, unlike at OT where I do what the coach says, I did not walk when she said walk, mostly because I'm on busy streets and worry and wonder what people would think (such a silly thing). I felt okay - I think I prefer tempo runs to HIIT because of the benefit for running I feel it gives me, but I probably should keep mixing it up if I do speed especially without OT. When I picked it up, it appears I averaged about 6:50 for the interval so not too bad (and maybe an OT goal one day...) Saturday, June 27th: I did a 45 minute are ride. The arms were brutal, the biking was hard but I kept it on the lower workout side. I definitely had moments of feeling overwhelmed and need to try and work on that and, in some ways, figure out what I want out of the biking with my other training. I think the spinning still takes a lot out of me so it wears me down and can start to hurt my running. But... here's the questions... is that a problem or can I continue to shift my focus? There was a great end to this ride though that pumped me up which I needed.

Training Week June 14th - June 20th

Sunday, June 14th: As seems to be pretty familiar, I wasn't sure how I would feel with the long run. But, overall, it went well. I finally broke out of the 8 miles and went to 9 as there is a small part of me wondering if I'll do Eastern States virtually in which I'll need to add a mile up to that race. I'm still not sure if I'm there but we shall see how the summer keeps progressing. Also, as a balance for not having a set hard workout day, I did add a short Peloton to the end for negative splits. Felt harder than it has in the past, but that's okay and I handled it pretty well I think. So far, as of writing this, the positivity has carried over into the evening. 

 Monday, June 15th: Rest day although with work rest is relative. 

 Tuesday, June 16th: I got a morning run in which was good given that the humidity was already 88% but the temp was cooler so it went fine. The issue with the early morning run is that once work is over... what then? I used to do the early AM runs because I'd then have the typical heck-busy work days so when I got home, after 5pm, I could just relax. But now, when I'm already home, having nothing really to do is like... well now what? SO, long way of saying, I may adjust the running here and there. 

 Wednesday, June 17th: Just some early morning Ricky Martin Peloton on this Wednesday. 

 Thursday, June 18th: For some reason and early morning speed work seemed like a good idea. I did it, although I definitely had moments where I was like "nope" but still tried to push. The high humidity didn't help and the creeping temp. I have to say that I do not miss longer speed work. Friday, June 19th: I tried to get a shout out in my Peloton class for my 100th ride. It did not happen, but that's okay. HIIT ridge completed with limited regret. 

 Saturday, June 20th: I had signed up for the Vaness T. Marcotte 5K before COVID and it went virtual so I figure why not keep with it. It started later than good for weather so it was a balmy 80 degrees with 64% humidity (felt much much worse). I went out too fast for both my training and weather and hit a huge wall which ended my time with a 24:17 (7:47) and feeling much worse for wear. I definitely had a hard go with this race two years in a row and hope to one day actually do well at it and be smart. I also want to find another 5K to try out this summer.

The Screams All Sound the Same

I'm pretty sure I've used this song before and maybe that part of it, but I don't care to look back. I am trying to continue to look forward as a matter of fact. This world is upside down and it has been stressful for everyone and I am not immune to that. I have had more anxiety and stress triggers these past months than ever (expect maybe when competitively roller skating?) It's insane, scary, stressful and so many other feelings. I try to keep on top of my anxiety and stress, but some times it just comes at you and evening ducking doesn't seem to help. I did a ride, though, where the instructor said: "here we save ourselves." I've been doing that or trying, but I know I just have to keep at it. And I don't think it needs to be taken as "I am an island and I have no one to support me" because I do (even if they are not always what I need exactly). But I took it as, you can ask for help, you can get help, but you still need to save yourself at the end of this all. So that's what I'm trying to remain myself and will continue to remain myself. The other thing I shall keep focus on is what is stressing me out? Yes, there is the underlying "what if I get sick or someone else sick?" But what is it really? Do I think I'm sick... probably not. Could I get sick, yes definitely. But I'm in a house, with a family, with a job (although that is certainly it's own stressor). I am as safe as we can be (or I try to be) and I am not trapped at the end of the day. I just need to keep remanding myself of these things and stay focused if not positive.

Training Week June 7th - June 13th

Sunday, June 7th: I did my combo podcast and Peloton run. I like the ending fast because I'm not doing that set hard run day so I feel like maybe this is a good balance with the biking. I'm not sure and, really, there's no race in sight to test so it is what it is. I wasn't sure how far to go and, unlike last week, I didn't have quite the pep in my step that I wanted so I ended it and didn't really feel like doing more. Monday, June 8th: Mondays as a rest day is a good idea. Between work and the gearing up for the week (and a crappy sleep) I was glad there was nothing I planned to do so no guilt. Tuesday, June 9th: I did my early morning (kind of early I should say) 4 miles that felt pretty good. It was nice weather and no sun plus I crashed at like... 9:15 last night so felt much better. It is amazing what sleep can do. Wednesday, June 10th: I wasn't 100% sure how today would go and if I'd want to get a workout in, but I came home and pretty much stuck to it getting in a 30 minute Peloton. I think it helped that I was home alone so I could just cruise and focus on it. I hope to continue to get more used to the days in so that, like before, I am able to just jump into the workout regardless (or maybe because of) the day. Thursday, June 11th: I made it out early again and tried to focus on the heart rate for the run. In a weird way (perhaps the watch) when I run a bit faster my heart rate is better managed than when I try to run slower as a means to keep it down. I know some of that is probably terrain based or wind base so the ease may come with that and thus my body is working less, but I'm going to try and keep an eye on it especially as it gets warmer and more humid. Friday, June 12th: Again, I missed a speed-focused workout and knew something longer and harder would not fly (perhaps I need to consider that I don't need to do a set speed workout or moving it up in the week - things to ponder). But I did put on a Peloton workout that had three sets of short intervals so that helped me get the heart rate up (or so I thought... didn't translate into the Garmin...) and hit a quicker run for the week. Saturday, June 13th: A little hung over, although I've been battling some anxiety this week as well, but I did a Peloton workout. I didn't feel totally in it, but it was okay. I think I wanted something more from the class in terms of motivation but that's okay. Not everything can be what you want it to be.

Training Week May 24th - May 30th

Sunday, May 24th: I went out with a Peloton 60 minute run and it was a lot of fun. The time flew by listening to the music and the one-sided conversation. The pick-ups also felt good and made the whole run faster. It was nice weather and I didn't feel like I was overheating. It think the company on the run helps pas the time and make the mental game of running a bit easier as well. Monday, May 25th: I reverted back to having this as my rest day. I think it makes more sense for my physically and it would be better to try and pack on a run Friday after work or nothing than too many harder days in a row (especially since Friday is not restful). I did a 5 minute meditation to keep my Peloton streak up. Tuesday, May 26th: I am attempting to run in the mornings again because my mornings aren't quiet as early as they once were. I managed to do today and one thing I will say is that when I am not awake it is hard to move. My first mile was super slow, but then I managed to get into normal paces. Ideally I'll be able to keep this up so that my evenings are more open I just have to focus on going to be at a reasonable time so that I don't find myself exhausting myself. I'll also be curious how speed workouts will go, but with the Peloton stuff I hope I won't really notice and just run what they tell me to run. Wednesday, May 27th: A good little arms and interval ride in the AM. So far that's two days in a row that I managed to get up and going which is pretty good so far. It helps that I can just sit in my own grossness for a bit before showering since I don't really need to be anywhere right at a set time. Thursday, May 28th: Husband and I took the day to do a hike in Wachusetts. It was nice although it is really hard to disconnect from the work world and I did a pretty poor job. Granted so did everyone else who was supposed to be at least trying to recognize that I took a personal day. This WFH shindig is starting to weigh heavy. The issue I did have with the hike was 1) people at the top took out the enjoyment of being there and 2) I was hoping to successfully hit my run goal which I won't do with this being a run day. Friday, May 29th: Despite the work day being something less than ideal and more than busy, I put on my shoes and did a Peloton 30 minutes run, even ramping up the speed some. I knew that I would need something to distract me while running and keep me focused and this worked. I hope that I'll keep up the post work (or maybe even pre work) stuff as we go in more often. Saturday, May 30th: I wanted something to keep me motivated and Alex Toussaint is usually a pretty good bet. I even got a PR (barely but count it). Two 45 minutes bike rides will allow me to reach my mileage goal so that's good to know.

Training Week May 31st - June 6th

Sunday, May 31st: I broke my run into two parts: half with NPR and half with Matty Maggiacomo. It was a pretty good run and the second half with the Peloton app went faster and I felt like I could have ran more, but held it to the 8ish I planned. I hope to increase the mileage a little bit but I'm still not hitting my 20-21 per week and am looking to keep uninjured and happy with running so I'll have a little grace with this. Monday, June 1st: Holy moly, June 1st. It is a rest day so I just did some yoga in the slowly becoming new gym area in the basement. Tuesday, June 2nd: I got my butt up and did 4.13 miles this AM and felt good. I enjoy the AM running and it is nice that I don't have to wake up insanely early to get a run in right now (remember 5am OT - how and why the F was that a thing?!?). I also headed back towards Lake Ave which I haven't set foot in (literally I mean) since March. It was the same as I expected it would be. Wednesday, June 3rd: I am still trying to do the AM shift but, wow, something to consider is I am not good on a empty stomach. I think I can push my way through a run because it is familiar and, most of the time, not the same hard work as the spinning, but this class killed me. I literally went to like a 20 resistance at one point and was like do I stop? I stayed in the ride but it was a pitiful output. I did bookmark it to try again one day soon here. Thursday, June 4th: I wanted to get out after the long work day and did just over a 5K. I felt good, better than I expected after working which I think is one, it being busy but having help there and two, getting a little more used to being back at that. Friday, June 5th: A weird day for work and, for some reason, I decided to try and do some of a speed workout and ran a little over 5 miles. I HAD wanted to do something that was clearly more of a speed work out (HIIT or tempo) but figured I may not have the energy for that. This felt pretty good and hard, but not super hard. Saturday, June 6th: A SUPER sweaty 30 minute ride. The class itself was so-so actually but I worked in it (almost PR) and it was warm enough that I felt like I went swimming so there's that. I felt a little bit better about the bike after the disaster on Wednesday.

Training Week May 17th - May 23rd

Sunday, May 17th: As stated last week, I'm looking to modify (again) my weekly running and biking plans. I'm trying to keep the miles lower but more days. I just don't really think I care to push myself into distances (I already backed out of my virtual half). I am trying to have some grace with my running and myself during all of this. It is good to be strong and to be a fighter, but it is also good to be okay with not being that and to take it in stride. I feel like this is all about finding a balance that brings you joy while keeping up my health. So, today I planned to do at least 7 miles but hoped for 9 secretly. I did just over 8 and that was totally fine. I could have tacked on the additional .79 to get to 9, but I thought... why? What did that prove? I know I can run 9 and so why does that number matter so much? I made a choice to NOT have it matter to me and to be content with the distance that I ran and how I felt doing that. I did take on an easy bike ride while watching tv to get hit my weekly bike goal. Monday, May 18th: In trying to change when my rest day is, Mondays will now be my 5K day I hope. This run started out really good and then half way, my brain got the better of me. It happens and so I pushed through to finish and now am in a not entirely great headspace. Hopefully it'll pass and this is a funk that comes and goes during this whole shindig we have going on. Tuesday, May 19th: Although I had wanted to keep up running on Tuesdays in honor of the Run Club that is No More that was not something that will happen with the new weekly line up so I biked instead. It was okay. I still have my bad headspace happening so I went easy on the ride resistance-wise which is okay. I got on it and hopefully each little step will make things improve instead this head of mine. Wednesday, May 20th: I kept up with the hope of a 3, 4, and then 5 mile run day. I can feel myself starting to lag a big and wonder if there is too many days in a row despite my original goal of having Friday as my rest day. I can also tell that I'm hitting a hard patch regarding this whole lockdown, COVID19 situation and gearing up towards heading in Friday. I am not sure where the anxiety is coming from but it's there and getting persistent. Thursday, May 21st: I had hoped to run today, but it just wasn't in me. I considered doing nothing, but got myself on a Cody ride and a body-weight workout with Becs. Both went fine and I felt okay so I'm trying to keep this growing anxiety under control and consider what is causing it. I often wonder if hormones play a role and have an effect on how I manage this COVID stuff. Friday, May 22nd: Despite my rising concerns,the day was hectic but went fine. I had a massive headache and knew that I was not in a place to run, but after sitting for a good hour, I finally got on the bike to do a 20 minute with Alex. Saturday, May 23rd: I wasn't sure what I wanted to do really but I felt a few extra miles would do me some good so I went out and did a 5K. It felt good, quiet humid but not sun and it was early enough that I wasn't over heated. I wanted to meet my biking goals, so did a 30 low-impact ride a bit later. I think that set-up will help with the overall week better than doing two things on a Sunday even if a long run isn't an insane distance. I think I am also going to go back to taking Monday off because it seems like it was too many days in a row on with a longer run in there.

Training Week May 10th - May 16th

Sunday, May 10th: I wasn’t sure how far I wanted to go today. I planned to dial it back because I just wasn’t feeling it, but I said maybe 7-9 miles. Starting out I was in the range of the 7 and made it so at least 7.5 miles. I had to cut off going to 8 miles because of a runner who decided to pass me when he was not going to be able to keep up that pace so I didn’t want to deal with that. By the time I was close to home, it was easy to get to 8 miles and then… why not go to the 9 miles so I did. It was not as effortless as last week’s run, but it wasn’t as draining as I feared. As stated, I’m in a place right now that isn’t great and when I get there I can feel the anxiety eat away at me and make me think what can/should I do to protect myself. Turns out I am not sure but probably not running isn’t the answer and the answer is to embrace it, think about it, try to reflect on it and try to let it goes. Monday, May 11th: A rest day as I am trying to bring these back because… well you should rest. Tuesday, May 12: And keeping up the Tuesday runs. I am pretending that I will run four days a week now so this is shorter than ones in the past since I hope to add some miles on Friday. Wednesday, May 13th: A ride from home with Alex. Nothing too crazy, but I found the last 26 second all outs very hard as they should have been. I did run on 3/8 but this was a better way to show up I think. Thursday, May 14th: I did a Peloton run with Matty Maggiacomo. It was kind of a tempo, but there wasn't a lot of guidance as to how long or effort level so I kind of made it up. It worked out okay but wasn't as hard as Becs which is actually okay. I'm trying to figure out my workout level per week and hoping to settle into something that works with the biking and a hard-ish run but that doesn't leave me feeling beat up since there is no reason to be beat up these days. Friday, May 15th: I had high hopes that I'd be able to continue my Friday 5K runs and that is not a thing that is going to happen. I didn't eat enough and certainly didn't drink enough, plus the stress level was super-duper high so I'm going to transition Fridays to being my rest day. I think if I keep my long runs down on the weekend which I don't mind doing because I realize I don't really care to train for anything that long so I am coming to terms with a long run being 7-9 miles and that is okay. I did do some yoga and core because I need to keep that streak up. Saturday, May 16th: At home with Alex Toussaint. I had a little higher hope for the class being motivational, but it was good. Hard without killing me. I suppose some of that is the effort I also put in, but I try to keep up the effort, promise.

Training Week May 3rd - May 9th

Sunday, May 3rd: I did a little real life biking which went fine. It’s not totally my jam, but I’m trying it out as the husband seems to enjoy it. Not sure I’ll get into it outdoors like him, but you never know. I also did a Robin Peloton which…whew. That was a cathartic ride that I didn’t know I needed. I haven’t been super sad during this whole situation. Not because I shouldn’t be, but it’s not my go to emotion. I tend to get anxious and nervous but not sad. This ride brought some tears out because of the acknowledgement of how hard this is right now and how that it sokay and sometimes you have to let to consume you if only to push it away after acknowledging it. It felt good and was a moment that I didn’t know I needed until I was having it. Monday, May 4th: May the Fourth Be With It. For me it was just some easy toning. Tuesday, May 5th: Keeping up with the running on Tuesdays. Nothing fancy to see here, just getting out and moving along as you do these days. Wednesday, May 6th: I decided to find a hard class with Olivia and uuuuugh. I am not in the place to have gone this hard and did need to dial it back a bit. Be it time or just something around, I am finding myself in an anxious headspace right now and the ride wasn’t the cleanse that I had hope it to be, but actually made me a bit more anxious. Thursday, May 7th: I tried out an interval run this go around. I thought the intervals would be shorter and had thought to do a longer run, but that’s okay. Felt pretty good and the splits were faster than the prior speed workout (which those were longer at points so it makes sense). I am beginning to feel like maybe I need to dial back a bit towards the end of this week and we will see where I find myself. Friday, May 8th: I’ve decided that maybe I’ll add on an additional run day instead of longer runs but fewer days. I also wanted some company and to see how Robin was on the Peloton running app. It was pretty good all around; perhaps a little more up tempo than I should have aimed to do, but I felt okay with the uptick in speed. Funny how much different those can be on a run versus a bike depending on which is more your style. Saturday, May 9th: I wanted to join my closed 10,000 plus friends on a ride today so I did that. Nothing too crazy to report and not the emotional rollercoaster like the last time I did one of these.

Training Week April 26th - May 2nd

Sunday, April 26th: I did a low impact Peloton bike to keep active and cross a little today. Monday, April 27th: Rest day, but keeping up with a Peloton activity everyday, did a ten minute yoga. Tuesday, April 28th: I didn’t think about run club until I posted on Strava and realized, maybe I do miss it…? I’m not sure but I think what I do miss is the long runs with that crew who I really enjoy running with. The Tuesday runs can be a bit daunting when preference with a work day but I suppose I should appreciate having had that in my life as an option. So, I’ll try to keep running on Tuesdays which, at least it won’t be at 6:30p. Wednesday, April 29th: I decided to go full Denis Morton today. I wanted to do something longer but didn’t actually want to do a long ride so two it was. Thursday, April 30th: I want to begin to bring back speed to my workouts, but the idea of running repeats seem blah. I enjoyed the Peloton runs so I tried out an interval run. It went pretty well. It’s fun having someone in your ear who talks through the whole time of the run and makes it go so much faster. I had a bit of stitch the first half, but managed to keep it together and paces under 8 minutes which was my goal. Friday, May 1st: I wanted a little fun in my day so a Cody Rigsby Backstreet Boys ride seemed like the perfect fit. Saturday, May 2nd: I did my long run today and it was nice. I wanted to keep my pace down, but I fell into the normal rhythm once I was out there. I suppose it could be that my paces aren’t quite what I expect them to be, but I also want to focus on the enjoyment of a long run and going slower, in general, makes things more enjoyable since you aren’t dying. But this was a positive little jaunt for me and farther than I’ve run in a long time.

Staying Focused*

I am trying to remain hopeful and positive during this time like everyone else. I have began to feel that to do so I need to embrace the running again. I mean, when else will I work from home and have the laziness *physically) from a job that usually has me on my feet for five miles (in heels a lot of the time)? There is not a lot of excess energy to go around I feel, but that is mental battle. How better to fight than to push through and take it back? I am not sure I will always be successful, but I am trying. And I am trying to give myself the tools to make a real go at this including streaming running audio and trying to stretch and do yoga. We may be drowning in many (and different) ways, but we are all here and sometimes it helps to be reminded of that. *I think I gave up on trying to have every post be a song title. What can I say, I'm maturing...? (lazy?)

Training Week April 19th - April 25th

Sunday, 4/19: Long run day. Funny how much shorter these long runs seem to have gotten. But I went out, did my 7 and held my own. Felt pretty good overall and steady pace. I could afford to slow down some, I think, but I still don't know if I call 7 a long run. I am hoping next week to up that mileage to the typical 8 that usually follows 7. Monday, 4/20: Although it is Marathon Monday, there is not marathon this year. It is a weird thing, but there are many weird things these days. Even though it was only 7, I do keep with the day "off" approach and did an easy recovery Peloton which felt like enough. Tuesday, 4/21: Ugh. Weather. Jumped on the bike which was fun (lady Gaga ride) even though it cleared up pretty nicely at the end of the ride so I could have waited and ran. Sounds about right. Wednesday, 4/22: I had waited all day to see if I would run. It's been bad weather (see Tuesday) and today was super windy but I finally bit the bullet and went out. Luckily the route I went was more of a crosswind and only a head wind for a small part. It was good to get out and thankfully not as much work as I thought it would be. Thursday, 4/23: I decided it would be interesting to try the Peloton run app and see what I thought. I grabbed a Fun Run which had some accelerations in it but nothing crazy. I enjoyed the music even if I didn't know all of it and the encouragement was not unwanted. I planned 5 but without having a Garmin my FitBit wasn't synced to my GPS so it was more like 5.5 miles because I wanted to be safe rather than sorry. Friday, 4/24: I thought about skipping today but glad I didn't. The Banger ride was the burst of energy that I needed at the end of the week and it had me smiling. Saturday, 4/25: Today was long run day because tomorrow's weather will be, not surprising, crappy again. I decided that I needed to embrace my running again last weekend and signed up for a virtual half that needs to be ran in May. You can do it in multiple runs, but I want to try for the whole distance as a race. To do that, you need to, you know, run more. So today was a long run day. I liked the Peloton running app so decided to give it a go for a longer distance. I was not super prepared (physically) for the paces to hit but it also wasn't entirely out of my ability to handle so it's not all bad news. I enjoy the voice encouraging me and, so far, I don't find it annoying.

In Every Job that Must be Done

I am currently 60 pages into The Happy Runner and just finished the chapter where the authors ask you to examine your Why for running. I thought this would be a good time for such self-assessment given... well you know... everything. I have managed to keep up running over this last month although it tapered off significantly. It wasn't something that I was finding peace in and, even for a while, it caused more stress. I believe (read: hope) that has passed as I continued to log less miles, but still log miles. I have attempts to remain in tune with it and with myself which is why I finally picked up this book after having it for a few months. I figure now it a perfect time to find out how to be, or continue to be perhaps, a happy runner. So, looking at the end of that chapter it asks four questions: 1. Why do I run at all? 2. Why do I run each day? 3. Why am I racing at all? 4. Why do I have as my long-term goals? And here I go: WHY DO I RUN AT ALL? At first it was because it brought me a sense of peace that I was unable to find any other way. It made me feel better, even for a moment, stronger and resilient (or at least feel that way since I still cried all.the.time). It also made me forget. I think, for me, the question morphs into why did I continue to run? It was something that allowed me escape and release but the heartbreak that brought forward that need dimmed with time and yet I kept running. And I think the reason I did was because it became a part of who I am and made me feel better about who that person was. I run because I enjoy how it makes me feel both inside and out. I run because of how it makes me feel about life even at its worse. WHY DO I RUN EACH DAY? Well, first off. Not each day, because that is insane, but why do I run each week and keep a log? Because I feel accomplished and because I feel like it a task to look forward to in days that have so many other tasks. It is something that will lighten me after the worst of day and be the glimmer of normalcy and accomplishments on days when I maybe feel both of those things or maybe feel none of those things. It is something that I look forward to and something that brings me quiet (even with music). WHY AM I RACING AT ALL? I think this is one where I get a little tied up in the self-serving part that the authors try to get the runner out of, but so it goes. No one is perfect! I race because it makes me feel good and proud. Even worst races have that little kick at the end of happiness (even if it fades with disappointment; read : Baystate 2018). I also race because I do like the community although there is a voice in me that also likes it because I am one of the best in my little community. Not the greatest of reasons but true. I also race because it givers some structure to the weeks in and out. Perhaps I should run only for the process, but I like the process if have an aim or goal. WHAT DO I HAVE AS MY LONG-TERM GOALS? As always there is Boston and chasing that BQ. I am not 100% sure how much weight that holds to me now. There was a part of me that did like Providence just for Providence and wanting to focus on that again. I guess, right now, I'm not sure so I'll make my goal a little more pandemic related: I want to get out there and stay out there and keep the miles under my feet. Once some of NOW because THEN I will re-evaluate, but I think long-term means something else entirely.

When We Were Young

Typed in March, post in April unedited. Like many people, I have good days and bad days. Recently, what is considered a good v. bad day has changed a bit. And yesterday was a bad day. Not a Bad Day or even BAD DAY, but bad day still. There is a base-line anxiety in everything that happens it seems and I am not immune from that. Sometimes it rises up more than expected or is harder to push back down that is expected. Yesterday, I did a shorter run than my training plan called for, but I've already anticipated that I'm cancelling the marathon if it isn't cancelled for us. So, that was okay. The run... meh not so much. It wasn't awful but it was a lot of work and, throughout the day, took more and more out of me until, by the end I was just kind of toast. Right now is not a time that one wants to feel toasted. Because, in my little brain of brains, toasted me sickness and sickness means something else entirely. As I was falling asleep though, I realized that I didn't want to feel that way (not that anyone does I think...). So I thought why not just NOT feel that way. Focus on the good. Focus on the next things. Focus on what you can control. I am not sure how successful I will be at this, but I'm going to try because... what else can I do?

In This Mad Season

Oh what to see in these days. I've been silent for a while and not for any good reason. I think that some of it is laziness and finding that I had the same blah-blah to post. Some of it was that not much had happened other than one race (see below) and trying to heal injuries and entering 2020. Then... well last week happened as it did to everyone in the US and things aren't what they used to be. So, I thought as I have some time to reflect, perhaps I'd jump back onto this page and just tinker around and update. More for myself than anyone else which is okay. There's a lot of "just yourself" moments these days so what is one more? Let's start with the end of 2019. Per some previous post, I'd been dealing with a hamstring/back/Achilles/who-knows-what injury after the Surftown half. I did run the Cambridge half even though I had convince myself it was a a bad idea. It turned out to be a new PR and, overall, not the worst of ideas. I don't think it hampered my recovery and didn't cause further injury that I knew of. Plus, as I said, new PR which is pretty cool (now a 1:42:20). What it did do, though, was cause me skip/miss the Turkey Trot this year. After the half, I decided to try and take two weeks off entirely minus elliptical and bike at the gym. I went back to running and never really felt much better as the hamstring still fairly constantly hurt. But, whether this is accurate or not, my husband and I got a Peloton in December and... now things are vastly different. Although I still have twinges here and there, the constant discomfort has pretty much vanished. I was getting really down and, in some ways, worried about how I felt towards the end of 2019 and wondering what I would need to do including seeing a doctor. But the spinning on the Peloton has seemed to assist in recovery by, I'm assuming, building strengthen where I was lacking and helping with the balance of my body. I am not sure if that is entirely true, but honesty... I don't really care. I know that there were no other changes other than that and so I don't feel as if something else magically healed me and my issues. So, sufficient to say, 2020 was starting off pretty good. There was a collective decision to skip Hyannis and run Easterns States and PRovidenceand so training has been focused on that. I haven't really picked up on speed work, hoping that my run club tempos and Orangetheory will give me a boost. I decided that I didn't ahve the energy, mentally or physically, to take on another hard speed day and I've come to terms with that being okay. So maybe I'll not qualify for Boston... that doesn't take away form who I am as a person or a runner. But now... March happened and things have changed. The ES is off and OT is closed. The world is temporarily on hiatus in many ways and everything is just different. And off. And anxiety-filled. I try to keep up-beat and try to release my anxieties but it is not easy. This is not forever, but there is something about it that has that feel at present. Worrying about things like a marathon seem both less and so much more important right now. It's rather crazy when you stop and think which is all anyone can do these days. So what I'll do is keep running and working out. I'll try to no panic and think that I am sick. I will try to keep up with my friends and loved ones and hope that, before we know it, this too will have passed.